More Than the Music: One Shots

Sam and Lexi - One Year

Hey everyone, I know I have been MIA from posting this year, and for that, I wanted to apologize. It's been a difficult and chaotic year, and mentally right now, I'm not doing 100%. However, I wanted this to be my early Christmas gift to all of you who like Lexi and Sam (and my books in general). Let this be an acknowledgment to thank you for the support the past year. It's not lost on me, it never will be. I'm forever grateful and appreciative. Sending good thoughts. Happy holidays:)
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Today was the day. The one year anniversary of Sara's passing. Usually on any given day, Lexi would have a list of tasks to complete. Some, but limited to: attending university and working an evening shift before heading home to complete homework, and chill with her friends, and Sam.

Today, however, she found herself unable to move at all. She didn't out of bed to eat and was ignoring her friends calls and messages. Her bed was what brought her the comfort she needed. And if Lexi was being honest, she didn't realize that today would hit her as hard as it was.

"Lex?"

Lexi didn't react or verbally respond to Sam walking into their bedroom. When he entered, all he saw was his girlfriend laying under a pile of blankets, emotionless, staring at the wall.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked softly, feeling his heart break a little when she looked up at him while tears rolled down her cheeks. He was quick to gently wipe them away and sit on her side of the bed.

"No." Lexi finally managed to answer. However, her voice cracked and Sam could barely hear her answer.

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I don't need anything." She shook her head, before pulling the covers higher on her body. "I can't get up, I don't think or feel like I physically can."

"That's because you're grieving. It's been one year, and  your feelings and reactions are completely valid, Lex." Sam assured her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead, before rubbing her arm, in hopes to offer her some consolation.

"I miss her and I also have all this homework to complete." Lexi began, pausing when she felt herself growing frustrated. "The problem is that I can't get out of bed. I'm so tired, mentally and today is just bringing up a rollercoaster of emotions and-"

"Hey, hey, hey. Take a few deep breaths for me, okay?" Sam was quick to stop her from rambling. He watched with soft eyes as she attempted to calm herself down.

Once she felt calmed down, she continued. "I have my spring midterms coming up and I'm behind on studying because I'm here in bed." Lexi sighed, wiping her tears that had begun to fall again. "I feel productive guilt for not being able to complete my usual tasks, and-." She admitted in a shaky voice.

"And you feel like you're letting your mom down?" Sam finished, as she nodded, allowing her sobs  to become apparent. "Oh, Lex." He whispered, crawling onto the bed and fully bringing her into his arms, before covering both of them with the quilt. "Listen to me, you are not letting your mom down. You never could. She would be very proud of you, and you know what? She still is, and I am too. You've been knocking it out of the park this past year, and you're continuing to go above and beyond."

At his words, Lexi smiled slightly, pulling him in for tighter hug, causing Sam to reciprocate the action. "I love you." She whispered, hiding her face in his chest as he ran a hand through her knotted hair.

"I love you too, always." He replied.

"I really needed to hear that, you know?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Lexi admitted, feeling somewhat embarrassed that she had failed to acknowledge that as of lately, she needed some help and reassurance. "I've been stalling a little bit on some assignments, and I've had days where I feel too overwhelmed and exhausted to get up. I have no motivation, and as a productive person and a perfectionist, that infuriates me."

"That's understandable, babe." Sam nodded, as he helped her prop up against her pillows. He smiled when she chose to keep their hands intertwined, allowing her to play with his fingers. "I promise you that we're gonna be here for you this week and in the future. If you ever need to talk, I'm here, you know that, right?"

At that, Lexi nodded, feeling her eyes fill with tears for what felt like the hundredth time. "Yeah, I do. And I am too, for you as well." She assured him, squeezing his hand. She giggled quietly when he brought her hand up, pressing a kiss to it.

"Good. That's my girl." Sam smiled. "We're going to get through this together. You and me."

"We will." Lexi shook her head, feeling more upbeat and certain than she had in the past couple of days. "We got through past year and have endured other hardships, who says we can't overcome this?"

"See?! You always find the positive outlook of situations." Sam exclaimed, causing her to laugh at the cheeky smile he sent her.

"While, I learned how to do that from someone really special." She responded, looking up at him with a fond expression.

"What can I say? I have an impact on people." Sam stated before cupping her cheek in his hand and eagerly leaning down, ready to capture her lips in his.

"Oh definitely." Lexi agreed, more than willing to accept his kiss. She smiled into it, as she climbed onto his lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist, while she kept hers around his neck. After a few moments, she pulled away, clearly flustered. "You know, we probably shouldn't let this go too far. I'm still not feeling entirely myself."

"You're right." Sam agreed, watching as she got off his lap and laid back down. "What do you need today to feel safe and content?"

"I need to sleep. I haven't been able to get a decent amount in the past few weeks." Lexi answered, watching as he laid down beside her. "And, I need you to hold me and keep me safe and comforted."

"Now that is something I can do." Sam responded with a wink, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Sometimes I wonder how I put up with your teasing behaviour." She muttered, squealing as he tickled her side.

"You love it." He whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to her neck, feeling satisfied that he could still have equal effect on her as she did for him.

"You're right, I do. I always will."