Would you Swallow all your Pride?

Chapter Twenty-Five: Mantis.

Wilhemina looked up at Billie Dean, and a small laugh left her lips. She reached for a napkin and gently leaned to wipe Billie's chin clean. The idea of it being weird didn't even cross her mind. "You look cute," she absently said with a chuckle. The words didn't register in her brain.

"You are cute," Billie Dean blurted back. And then it registered for the both of them. Wilhemina's hand stiffened on her chin, and their eyes kept on glued on each other's. I fucked up. She was expecting Venable to pull away; to shut down, even to leave. But she was... smiling. Timidly, but still smiling.

"You—you think?" Wilhemina gulped.

Billie Dean nodded. "I do." Please believe me.

Venable's first instinct was to look away; to look over to anything else and murmur something casual in return and forget they even shared such words. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. She didn't want to. "I think you're cute, t-too."

Billie Dean's pearl teeth reached to nibble on her lower lip. Billie's cheeks began to tint softly. Her eyes fell on Wilhemina's lips, and then back to her eyes. Say it. Billie Dean wanted to tell her how she felt. And when Venable's eyes flickered down to her own lips, Billie's heart skipped a beat. She felt the napkin against her chin starting to move again. I can't do that to her. There was a reason Wilhemina was going out with Emma, and not with her. "T-thank you." She looked away.

Venable nodded and leaned back against her seat. What was that? She reached to take a sip of her soda. Her hands felt a little shaky, and her heart had sped up. She took a deep breath. "Sure." I want to kiss her. The thought scared Wilhemina. It was awfully familiar to how she felt with Emma... perhaps even a little more intense. I shouldn't be thinking about it. She's straight. She's my boss. I'm an idiot.

Billie Dean nodded back. She slowly ate a few more fries, eyes on the table now. She looked down at my lips. What did it mean? What did any of that mean? Why was it so confusing? It was like they were back at the beginning, when Billie Dean had to walk on eggshells and struggle to make Wilhemina as much as talk to her like a normal person would. It was frustrating and Billie wanted to sit down next to her and kiss her lips and tell her that she was falling for her, God damnit! But it wasn't fucking fair. And instead, she had to sit down and act like there was nothing going on. "I need to use the restroom. I'll be back." Without looking at Wilhemina, Billie Dean got up and hastily followed that way. She closed the door behind her and let out a loud sigh. And then she stared at herself in the mirror. Pull yourself together. She wanted a cigarette. She wanted something to distract herself from the weird and uncomfortable turmoil inside her chest. Is it because of how I look?

On the table, Venable frowned. She watched as Billie Dean walked away with fast steps, barely giving her any time to say anything. I want to kiss her, the thought slipped in her mind again. Now, alone in the table, Wilhemina gave herself a second to actually think about it. Do I, really? She did. God, she wanted it a lot. I want to touch her. That was too much. Venable reached to eat a few more of her fries, and one of her feet began to bounce up and down on the floor. Brown eyes moved away to a window. I feel like that about Emma, too... I think. She didn't know. And that was scary. Taking a deep breath, Wilhemina eyed the bathroom again. Billie Dean began to walk out of it, eyes down on the floor. She didn't look very happy. "What's wrong?" Wilhemina blurted out as soon as Billie took her seat back on the table. I did something wrong.

Honey eyes stared at Venable. Billie could catch, behind her dark hues, a glimpse of something that looked a lot like fear. She reached for her soda. "Nothing." Wilhemina squinted her eyes. Billie Dean frowned. "Nothing is wrong," she repeated. Venable's face didn't move. Billie took a sip of her drink, never once looking away from Wilhemina's eyes. They stared at each other.