Would you Swallow all your Pride?

Chapter Fifty: Amaranth.

"I said no, of course." Venable watched how Billie's chest had begun to move a little faster. She's nervous. Wilhemina could feel herself starting to grow overwhelmed, and Billie Dean's fingers no longer felt right tangled in her own. As gentle as she could, Venable pulled her hand away. Billie blinked once, glancing down at their hands. The look that settled on Billie Dean's face caused Wilhemina to feel even more disappointed in herself. I'm hurting her. But her whole body refused to allow itself to be touched, to be felt, to be noticed as something that existed in physical form. Billie only nodded, waiting for Venable to say something else, anything else. Wilhemina's jaw was tense again. "B-Billie, what happened between you and Terry?"

For a second, everything Billie Dean could hear was a faint buzz. Slowly, her body recovered from the sudden rush of adrenaline that had just washed down. She licked her dry lips, blinking once or twice. "What did she tell you?" I should have talked to her about it. I should have done it before she had the chance. Venable didn't answer, she only looked away. Billie frowned a little more, holding her emotions back the best she could. "Wilhie, what did she tell you?"

Wilhie. Venable stared down at the floor, body refusing to allow her voice to come out. She pushed it through. "She just... she told me y-you did the same to her— to Terry... d-date her, I m-mean. And then you—you got tired and just... discarded her."

"I never dated her," Billie quickly said. "We went out a few times, but we—we never dated." Her heart had accelerated its pace, for Billie Dean knew where this was going. "There w-were no feelings, and she was not fired b-because of that. It had nothing to do with o-our so called relationship." She saw right there in Venable's eyes how she didn't seem to believe her. Fuck! Honey eyes filled up with tears. "Wilhemina, I d-don't know what she told you, b-but it was nothing l-like us. Nothing. It was never serious. We only—we hooked up a few times, but we never even went out on a proper date."

"Will you get tired of me, too?" It was barely a whisper, but one that came in a strong tone and as cold as ice. Venable hated herself for allowing it to come out like that, for allowing her walls to control her like that. Her posture was rigid again, both hands on the cane and head up high. Defensive. Scared.

"I will not." There was no doubt in that. Billie gulped the lump in her throat. "I d-didn't get tired of h-her. No one k-knows what happened." A tear slid down. Billie Dean paid no attention to it. Her hands ached to just hold the woman in front of her. "W-Wilhie... Wilhie, please... I—I don't k-know what else to tell y-you." Another tear slipped down, followed by another, and another. She sniffled, never once looking away from Venable. Stop crying, for fuck's sake!

"Tell me w-what happened." Wilhemina's voice trembled, betraying the coldness of her posture. Too many things went through her mind, each one of them taking her to a worst place.

With her eyebrows drawing close together, Billie Dean sniffled. She nodded as she took a deep breath. "Not here." Venable frowned. "Meet me in the garage in five minutes."

"Why?"

"T-trust me?"

Wilhemina bit her inner cheek. Staring at those honey oceans that always carried so much kindness, she wondered how could she ever say no to Billie Dean. How could she ever deny her anything when she stared at her with eyes so full of tears and so full of fear. She nodded, and in a gush of even more trust, reached to squeeze one of Billie's hands. I never meant to hurt her. "I do."

Taking another deep breath, Billie squeezed Venable's hand back. "I p-promise I'll give you a-all the answers."

Wilhemina nodded. The sight was breaking her heart. Hesitantly, she let Billie Dean's hand go and followed back to her table, heart beating fast.