Niall and Liam were asleep on the porch when Zayn arrived at the house. Without a car, It had taken him a considerable amount of time to walk home from the bakery, even after he had deemed it safe to leave. As such, it was rather late, But that didn't stop the scene in front of him from being highly visible and amusing. Niall and Liam were both curled up on the cold hard ground, wrapped in several blankets a piece. He couldn't imagine it was comfortable, nor could he think of any reason for them to be sleeping outside Gently, He kicked Liam with his foot, waking him.
"What do you want?" Liam grumbled, his voice full of sleep. Zayn laughed.
"You fell asleep on the porch mate. It looks intentional. Any real reason behind that?" He inquired.
"Harry and Louis. Upstairs. Noises." Liam muttered sleepily. Zayn got his meaning and laughed. It was kind of funny that the reasoning he had given Kendall for his desire to sleep at the bar the night before had turned out to happen the night He returned home.
"Well I'm going inside. You can stat out here if you want." Liam grumbled in acknowledgement of Zayn s statement and pulled the cover back over his head.
Zayn saw Niall laying in the ground as well. The position coyldnt be comfortable. Zayn was almost able to convince himself to leave Niall on the porch with Liam. The key word being almost. He still loved the little Irish boy, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise.
"Come on Niall," Zayn muttered, scooping him up in his arms. Niall snuggled into his chest and Zayn felt a path in his heart. Niall would never do something like that if he was awake. Zayn wished he would. "Lets get you to bed."
Zayn managed to get through the door without dropping Niall and make his way up to the blonde boys room. He stopped once outside Harry and Louis' room, listening closely. All was silent. He set Niall gently down in his bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around him. The Irish boy was so adorable when he slept that it physically pained Zayn. He stood there, watching him sleep. A tear came to his eye. Niall liked Liam. Niall would never like him. Liam had a chance at what Zayn so desperately wanted. Zayn found himself choking back a sob, and was gratefully when his phone buzzed in his pocket, distracting him from the perfect boy in front of him. He stepped out into the hallway before answering.
"Hello," he answered, taking a deep shaky breath.
"I just relized I left you at the bakery without any way of getting home. Are you alright? Do you need ne to come pick you up?" It was Kendalls voice on the other line, and Zayn found himself smiling through his tears.
"No, I made it home. I'm fine." He assured her, His voice cracking just a little. There was a slight silence before Kendall said anything.
"Zayn, Have you been crying?" She asked softly.
"No. I'm fine." He repeated, telling himself it was true. Telling homself there was nothing to be upset about, Niall had never been his in the first place.
"You don't sound alright." Kendall argued. "What happened?"
"Its nothing. Its no big deal." Zayn assured her.
"Zayn, if you do not tell me right now what is going on that has you so upset, I will drive over there myself and drag you to my house, where I will make you explain what's wrong." Kendall threatened.
"Its nothing Kendall." Zayn repeated the words as though if he said them enough times he might actually believe them. It meant so much to him, so much more than it should.
"I'm on my way." Kendalls voice was softer now. She recognized that Zayn needed a friend, and that somwthing had upset him deeply. He needed her there. Threats and force would do nothing. She hung up the phone, knowing she would see Zayn in peraon in just a few minutes.
Zayn sighed deeply. He shouldn't be doing this, pulling a mother away from her child. But the truth was, he wanted to tall to Kendall. She was smart. She understood when he was upset and was willing to talk to him. He really needed some company right now. He stood and walked outside, all the way to the end of the street so Kendall wouldn't wake Liam when she came to get him. He foind a small park and sat on a bench as he waited. After a while, a cat pulled up and stopped, the headlights clicking off. Zayn waited, and in about five minutes, Kendall took a seat next to him. She was holding a sleeping Noah. He was still so small.
"I almost didn't find you. I was jist driving in circles around the bar where we met when I saw you sitting there." Kendall admitted. Zayn was still watching Noah. He was a bit too big to be held by a baby, But still plenty small to be cuddled in his mother's arms.
"It wasn't a very well thought out plan." Zayn agreed, not taking his eyes off Noah. Kendall noticed how closely Zayn was watching Noah and smiled. Carefully, she lifted Noah and placed him in Zayn s arms. She smiled as she adjusted Noahs limbs so Zayn was holding him securely.
"He's so cute." Zayn smiled at the sleeping child. "Someday I want children like him."
Kendall smiled at how tenderly Zayn was looking at Noah. It was obvious that Zayn already loved the toddler, despite knowing him for hardly a day.
"If you want them, I'm sure you will." Kendall assured him.
Zayn sighed. "That was one of the things I used to worry about when I thoight about being with Niall. I would never get to have my own children."
Kendall rubbed his back gently. "You could have adopted them. Or gotten a surrogate mother."
Zayn smiled sadly. "It just isn't the same, You know? I've always liked the idea of having children that were specifically my own. Mine and my love's."
Kendall nodded. "I get it. With Noah, I have this special connection. And while I'm sure I would love my kid Of I adopted them, it's definiatly a stronger bond with him because I had a part in making him."
Zayn smiled, looking down at Noah. With his eyes shut, the kid looked almost like Harry. Curly brown locks, and the face shape was almost the same. It was a bit unnerving.
"I hate to ask, But who's the father?" Zayn turned to look at Kendall. She shook her head sadly.
"His name was Peter. I was so in love with him,But he never loved me back." Kendall smiled a bit at the memory of the man, despite how poorly everything had turned out. "He had a million girls lining up to be with him. There was no reason to stay with me." Kendall stopped to think for a moment. "You know, at times he looked a bit like Harry Styles. Simular face shape, and there were the curls. But he had the most brilliant blue eyes, and he always kept his hair short so you could hardly the curls. He hated being compared to Harry, always saying that only gay men kept their hair that long."
"Harry is gay you know." Zayn pointed out. Kendall smiled.
"Yeah. That's what makes it ironic." Kendall grinned at Zayn. He was running his fingers through Noah s curls, and Kendall was pretty sure he disnt even recognize the action. He was so tender with Noah that it reminded Kendall of Jacob and how he would sit for hours holding a sleeping Noah without even one word of complaint. Good men like that were rare, and it seemed that Zayn was one of them.
"What happened Zayn?" She asked, her voice tender. You could still see the tracks of the tears That had dried on his cheeks, and his face fell when she mentioned it.
"Its nothing really. I just saw Niall and relized that he could never be mine." Zayn smiled sadly. "I knew that before, but I guess it jist really clicked when I saw him lying there."
Kendall rubbed his back gently. "Its okay. You'll find someone else."
Zayn turned to look at Kendall with an intensity that made her squirm. His eyes were so serious, so scrutinizing. Then, finally, after what felt like forever, He smiled.
"Yeah. I guess so." And Kendall somehow felt that the words had much more meaning than she relized.
