a͟m͟b͟i͟v͟a͟l͟e͟n͟c͟e͟ - espresseleine au

Arrival

fyi I actually do have anxiety and espresso's struggles are based on my own

I stood at a balcony, resting my arms on the railing. A light breeze rustled my hair as I watched the clouds drift lazily across a strawberry-pink sunset.

I heard footsteps approach behind me, and didn't have to turn my head to know who it was. I remained silent as Latte walked up to the balcony next to me.

"So," she said, looking over the sunset. "New job tomorrow. Nervous?"

I laughed, and she did too. "Chronic anxiety, sis. Of course I'm nervous. But I'll get through it. I always do."

She squeezed my arm, and then returned to gazing at the sunset. "That's good. I love you, Espresso. I don't want you to go through even more heartbreak."

We stayed like that for a while, before Latte tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I'm going to bed. You should too, to make a good first impression and all that. You can even have the bed tonight, and I'll sleep on the couch." I tried to refuse, but she'd already gone. 

Reluctantly, I turned and followed her. As I got ready for bed, I tried and failed to banish the lingering guilt from making my hardworking sister sleep on our ratty couch. 

Tomorrow was going to go well.

The next morning, I was anxiously charged while getting ready. As I picked out my newest suit (1 year old and counting) my mind kept spinning elaborate tales of how, upon seeing me, the Sorcerer would fire me, my fault or not.

Latte was already gone, as she woke up early to head to her teaching job. She worked way harder than I ever would. I shook my head as I exited out crappy apartment and headed down to get a bus - we couldn't afford a car.

After the bus finally arrived - 10 minutes late no less - I got on and found a window seat in a two person row. I put my bag on the other seat, because I hate social interaction, and leaned my head against the window. So tired . . .

I was  jolted awake by the speakers announcing We have stopped at the Palanaeum. I repeat, we have stopped at the Palanaeum. Please get off if this is your stop.

I swore. I'd need a coffee soon or I was going to crash in front of someone who would undoubtedly fire me on the spot.

I collected my stuff and exited, remembering the Palanaeum is the official name for the Sorcerer's workplace. I made my way up to the door, and with a deep breath, pushed it open.

After unsuccessfully trying to find it on my own, I asked a guard where the Sorcerer was, and he gave me directions to his quarters.

Once there, I nervously pushed open the door. I saw a figure about my height, with light yellow, very curly hair, and skin a slightly darker shade bent over a book. He was wearing a flowy white tunic and suit pants a shade slightly darker than his skin. He had a belt seemingly woven of strands of gold. How rich is this guy?  I wondered to myself.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively? "I'm the Head Sorcerer's assistant. Do you have any tasks for me?"

When he looked up, I could see more of his outfit. He had the kind of hair that made you want to run your hands through it, - Not now, Espresso - and a very friendly, open face. He looks like a light magic user, I thought with distaste.

"Oh!" He grinned infectiously and stood up. "No, since it's your first day, I thought I'd introduce you to my bodyguard." I nodded, understanding the importance of knowing the cookie I'd be working together with for a year..

He turned to another door and yelled, "Madeleine! I need you in here for a moment!"

Madeleine? The cookie who's ego rivals the size of the Duskgloom Sea? Great. Just great.

He stepped out of the closet, dressed in the Republic's finest. "Hello, Espresso!" He smiled reaching out to take my hand. I returned the handshake stiffly, surely looking to any outsider that I thought Madeleine was going to poison me if I touched him. 

The Sorcerer raised an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes and shook his hand before getting out of there as fast as I could.

I avoided Madeleine (in no small part because what happened to my body when Madeleine stepped out in that impeccably tailored suit was not befitting of a leading scientist) for the next month. This stopped when Ricotta cornered my and all but begged me to make peace with Madeleine. I reluctantly agreed, and Ricotta informed Madeleine that we would be "hanging out in a few days.

When the day came, I opened my room door to find him waiting patiently outside. The full-wattage smile he gave me when I exited did nothing to help my predicament, so I kept my mouth shut as I approached lest I do something I'd come to regret.

Madeleine, still smiling at me, hooked his arm through mine. "Where should we go first?"

I didn't hear what he had said, as I was too busy trying to shove down the hot thing that had uncurled in my stomach the moment he touched my arm. I in fact didn't realize he had asked it in the first place, until he said, "Espresso?"

"Yes?" I returned sharply, still focusing my efforts elsewhere. He repeated the question, o=to which I responded with, "I do not prefer physical touch, Madeline. You would do well to learn this, given we'll be stuck together for a year."

He pulled his arm out, looking hurt. "Okay..."

As we were about to head out, the Sorcerer stopped us. "Oh, by the way, my name's Lemon Ricotta Cookie, but you can call me Ricotta." He imprinted a glyph on my hand, and I had to fight not to pull my hand back as light washed over it. "Ever need my help, or just to chat, press this. It'll call me. Madeleine has one too."

I smiled, thanking him through gritted teeth, and we left. Out to spend an entire day with the cookie who annoys me most in the world. And, alternatively, makes my cheeks flush.

Joy and happines.

changing the self-insert to an oc lol