PALE BLUE EYES. kurt cobain

007

"I love you, Kurt." I said with my lip between my teeth. I was so fucking nervous, so fucking embarrassed. I couldn't believe myself in the slightest. His face said it all, the pure shock, the confusion, the need for me to repeat myself in hopes he heard me wrong.

"What?" He quietly asked trying to process what I'd just selfishly said to him.

"I love you. I'm in love with you. Ever since you walked into the coffee shop. I love you and I love Frances." I repeated. The look on his face became even more intense since it was now impossible he could've heard me wrong. Everything seemed to crumble around me and Kurt just shook his head. Suddenly, I was thrown through a loophole and my life flashed back into Kurt's living room.

"Rory? Rory, you okay?" Kurt waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped back into it and looked at him. He was smiling and his hair was wet. He'd just gotten out of the shower. I smiled with him and nodded at his previous question. I silently thanked the lord that my selfish performance was just a daydream.

"It's 5:30. You're free to leave, if you want to. Come with me to my room so I can pay you. My wallets in there." He nodded his head towards the stairs. For some reason, I didn't want his money. In fact, I couldn't take his money. I felt like I should be paying him for making me smile today.

"Um, you don't have to pay me," I quickly came up with an excuse, "you were here basically all day. I didn't even do much. I hardly deserve any money." I ran my hands through my hair out of exhaustion. I wanted to go home, but I also didn't. He went upstairs quickly.

"No way," Kurt said, "you're taking the money. I don't care if I have to force you." I gave in and he handed me some money. I felt so guilty taking it from him. I loved doing this, so much. I didn't need to be paid. But I could buy Frances some new toys with it, so it's all good I guess.

"I'll leave," I announced, "let me say goodbye to Frannie?" I asked. He nodded and gestured to the living room where she was. I bopped her nose and whispered to her that I loved her. I really did. She was perfect, and we got along so well.

"Goodbye, Kurt." I opened the door. He didn't say anything but grinned and waved. I closed the door and let out the biggest sigh of relief ever. Leaving this house was like leaving my happiness. But I got to come back tomorrow so I was happy as I could be. But I couldn't help feeling that this was all so wrong.

♡

"Come in!" I heard Courtney shout the next morning as I knocked on the door. Unfortunately, it was just her this time. I saw her all done up though, she must be leaving. Kurt was long gone.

"Good morning." I said hanging my coat on the coat rack. She didn't say anything but smiled and checked her reflection in the mirror. I went to the living room to set my bag down and say hi to Frances. She was sound asleep in her crib, I smiled. Yesterday I went to the store and got her some new toys I thought she'd like.

"I'm heading out," Courtney entered the room, "thanks again, Rory. Kurt paid you yesterday I presume?" Sometimes she could be really nice and polite but it just seemed fake.

"Yes, he did." I answered.

"Well since it's the end of the week, I'll leave some more money on the counter. Have fun guys!" She left. I felt so confused, she was being so nice for what? I'm not complaining, trust me. But God, was she bipolar or something? I shook my head letting the thoughts leave and laid back waiting for Frances to wake up. I decided to walk around the house a bit, just to look. It wasn't a great idea since it wasn't my house. But no one was home...

I selfishly decided to go upstairs. There were two bedrooms, one all done up like a guest room, one that was slightly messy... it was Kurt's room. There was also a closet at the end of the hall. I walked inside Kurts room. The bed was made, but there were clothes all over the floor and paper everywhere. I just smiled and picked up one of the sheets reading the messy handwriting.

"I want to offer her my life and I don't mean my wife." My eyebrows furrowed at this line. It couldn't be about me, could it? Maybe I was way too into my head but I went the whole rest of the day trying to analyze it. Trying to find another meaning. Who is her?