PALE BLUE EYES. kurt cobain

004

It had been about an hour since Kurt left. Frances had woken up and I was holding her in my arms, she was drinking her bottle of milk. It was honestly unreal how beautiful she was. Her eyes just captivated everyone. When she finished her bottle, I laid her down on her blanket and decided to just play around and try to keep her entertained. There wasn't much I could do with such a young baby though.

She could softly shake her toys and kick her legs out from time to time. God she was the cutest thing. I was absolutely in love with this child already. I felt such a connection to her.

"Frannie," I used my ridiculous baby voice, "where's Frannie?" I held the stuffed animal in front of her face. I'd tear it away and gasp like you'd do with any small child. And I couldn't believe my eyes when she began to smile and even laughed. It was more of a shriek actually.

"Are you laughing?" I couldn't stop with the baby talk, "are you laughing?" I tickled her belly gently and continued with our game. Once again I held the stuffed animal it front of her face, "where is she?" I asked. Once I removed it, she'd go nuts and just laugh so loudly. I honestly felt bad that Kurt wasn't here to see it. I'd have to tell him about it though.

Soon enough, the door opened. Was Kurt already back? I look to the clock and sure enough it was already 4:30. Jesus. Time flies when you're playing with Frances. He came just in time too.

"Oh, Kurt! Come here, watch this!" I said as he entered the house. Smiling, he walked over and patted Frances's fuzzy head before watching what I was going to show him. I did my trick with the stuffed animal and Frances did her little smile/shriek/laugh.

"Oh my god!" He exclaimed, "let me try!" I excitedly handed the stuffed animal to him and he copied what I'd done. Sure enough, Frances did her signature shriek. He just looked at her with the sweetest face and whispered sweet nothings to her in a baby voice just like mine. Then, he just stared at me for awhile.

"Yes?" I joked.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I just... I don't know how you can do this with Frances. I mean... she doesn't laugh for Courtney and she definitely doesn't fall asleep for Courtney." I couldn't believe he was comparing me to her mother. I felt bad honestly.

"I don't know," I bit my lip, "maybe Courtney just needs more practice. I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"Yeah," he looked at Frances, "maybe." I could tell he was deep in thought for awhile and I could only stay silent as he watched his daughter stir softly on her blanket. He was head over heels for her. It was obvious to anyone.

"What's for dinner?" I tried to change the subject since I didn't want to be talking about parenting with Kurt. I felt out of place to say things like that. I should've kept my mouth shut about Courtney.

"I was thinking," he looked at me, "if it's okay with you. I could order a pizza? I'm not the best cook." Kurt laughed a bit. I gave him a sympathetic smile and just wanted to melt. He really was the sweetest person ever.

"I love pizza. I could show you how to cook someday. It's pretty easy." When I said that, his face lit up. He nodded almost immediately. Why did I feel this way about Kurt? He was married and had a child. I'm insane, aren't I?

"Please do," he said, "I could really use it. Plus, it would be kinda fun." I nodded at that. Kurt stood up and walked over to the phone. I sat with Frannie as he ordered the pizza. It was cute seeing him on the phone, he was so wonderfully awkward. Just like me.

"15 minutes." He stated before walking back over to me. I nodded and casually rested back on the couch. What was there to talk about now? Music? No, that's weird to ask him about music. Movies? Maybe. It's a bit boring.

"So." I said but heard a voice laced over mine. We'd said that same thing at the same time. I blushed like crazy and looked the other way. He laughed his sweet laugh and blushed as well.

"This is awkward." I giggled. He agreed with me.

"I have an idea," he started, "let's get to know each other. Just ask random questions." Kurt proposed. I nodded with a shrug and turned my body to be facing him more.

"Okay. How old are you?" I asked.

"25. How old are you?" He asked back.

"23." I said.

"My drummer is 23," Kurt acknowledged. I nodded and smiled, "favorite band?" He asked. Maybe it wasn't weird to ask about music.

"Hm, I really like the Beatles. And Led Zeppelin. Oh, I really like the Velvet Underground." I said. I couldn't pick just one band.

"Me too! I'm doing a cover of 'Here She Comes Now.'" He smiled immensely.

"Now way! I have to hear it! I love them." I couldn't help my smile. I felt like my heart was gonna jump out of my chest. I felt such a connection to Kurt.

"Maybe." He said a little shyly.

"Okay... favorite movie?" I asked.

"Hm. Over the Edge. Ever seen that? With Matt Dillon?" He asked.

"Only a hundred times!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" He laughed.

"Really," I repeated, "my favorite movie is probably the Outsiders."

"Aw," he said, "I remember that movie from Middle School."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I didn't know what to do. It was so silent. Frances was falling stirring in her crib and me and Kurt just exchanged glances ever now and then. I felt myself leaning towards him and I couldn't stop. I felt like a magnet was forcing me to lean closer. I noticed he was doing the same thing. Wait. This was so wrong. He's married. But why couldn't I stop. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and we both quickly leant back.

"It's... the pizza. I'll be right back." He awkwardly got up. I sighed and looked into Frannies blue eyes.

"I'm dumb aren't I?" I asked her. She cooed in response and I just hummed a laugh.