Saving Bucky (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 92 - An Alternative

"One more change today," you whisper, reaching for a sterile rag from Cebisa's box. James hums in his sleep, face twitching and body jolting. "Shh," you hush, leaning forward from your wheelchair and resting your hand on his forehead. "Don't fight the sedatives, Buck. Go to sleep. I'm here."

James' lips move subtly, ghosting around silent words.

"I'm here," you sigh. "Sleep."

He falls still, succumbing to the medical grade anesthetics Shuri has ordered Cebisa keep him under. A normal man would get one full dose every twelve hours. But for James Cebisa comes every two hours, lest he wake.

With a tired sigh, you use the sterile rag to dab at the dried blood around the incisions in his amputated shoulder. As you work James winces in his sleep and lets out a pained grunt. 

"I know," you whisper. "I'm sorry, Buck. But you burn through every pain medication in minutes. Keeping you asleep is the best we can do."

James calms at your voice - as he always does. A part of you wonders if somewhere in his head he's awake. That same part prays he's not. That he's sleeping peacefully and not feeling the pain you know his body is suffering.

Finally satisfied with the state of his freshly-cleaned shoulder, you finish changing the wraps and pull the elastic pressure sock back on.

"Good as new. I'll be right outside," you whisper, reaching to brush the greasy strands of hair out of his face.  

You lean forward to press a kiss to his forehead when a buzzing on your wrist catches your attention. The center stone in the kimoyo bead bracelet Shuri gave you now glows brightly in the dark of the room. With a frown, you push back from the side of the bed and wheel your way out of the bedroom as the beads on your wrist continue to vibrate.

"Yeah?" you ask, tapping the center stone as you move toward the living room sofa.

"How is he?" Shuri asks, voice coming through clearly. 

"Still asleep," you say sourly, grunting as you use your arms to push yourself up and out of the wheelchair onto the couch. You then reach for your legs, pulling them onto the couch and settling in more comfortably.

"He was in pain, Y/n," she says with a sigh. "We presented him the option to suffer through it awake, or sleep. Knowing that you and the Captain were nearby he chose to sleep."

"He was barely lucid when we gave him that choice, Shuri," you say. "You had just cut his arm off for God's sake!"

"You think he made the wrong choice?" she asks.

"No, but-,"

"You believe he will regret his decision?"

"No, I'm not saying-,"

"Then why are you so perturbed?"

"Because it's been four days!" you blurt out. Shuri is silent, and you let out a sigh, throwing yourself back onto the sofa in defeat and staring up at the ceiling. "It's been four days since the amputation. Four days since we put him under. I don't know, it...it just seems like a long time to keep someone under."

"Yes. But that is four days he would have spent in constant, excruciating pain," Shuri counters. "After what he went through cleansing his memories, he deserves a reprieve, does he not?"

You frown, but can't argue. She's right.

"You should take it as a nod to your bond," Shuri says from the beads on your wrist. "I do not believe the Winter Soldier would allow himself to be put in such a vulnerable state if he did not have implicit trust in his comrades."