Saving Bucky (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 96 - Into the Dark

The jet ride was quiet. Heavy. When you finally landed back in the States, two cars waited beside the abandoned runway. One for Natasha and Scott, the other for you and Steve. You had hoped that once in the car, the tension from the jet would abate.

But you were wrong.

"What?" you finally exhale, casting a glance over at Steve. He's been fidgeting for the past hour - shifting in his seat and glancing over at you before quickly looking away.

"It was the right decision," he says, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "To leave Buck behind."

You frown and look out the window, not wanting to revisit those final moments in Wakanda. Not wanting to watch the memory of him fading from view until he was gone. Lost somewhere beneath the clouds.

"Sometimes you have to leave someone behind," Steve sighs.

"Sure," you mumble. 

"We did the right thing," Steve says firmly. And in your heart, you know he's right. 

"I know," you sigh. "But did you see the way he looked at me before we left? God, he was so angry."

"I don't think that was anger," Steve says with a sad smile.

You scoff, turning to look out the window at the passing landscape. "Then you didn't see what I did, Steve."

Steve hums in quiet disagreement. "I've seen that look on him before," he says. "Once. A long time ago."

"Sure you did," you grumble.

Steve lets out a long, deep sigh. "1943," he says. "His unit went missing during the war. No one went looking for them so I did. And I found them. Starved. Beaten. Buck was strapped down to a table for God's sake."

You cringe at the disgust in Steve's voice. Not a tone you often hear from him.

"I was trying to get him out - trying to get them all out - and we, I, got stuck," Steve says, his fingers almost bending the steering wheel. "I told Buck to go. To leave me and get out of there."

"What happened?" you ask in a hollow whisper.

"He...he said...," Steve trails off as he gets emotional. He clears his throat and glances over to you once more. "He said 'not without you'. With that same look in his eye. Do you know what that look was?"

"No."

"It was helplessness."

You inhale sharply and Steve lets go of the steering wheel with one hand. He rests it palm up on the center console, inviting your hand to his. You slide your fingers between Steve's, and he gives you a squeeze.

"Buck was always taking care of me," Steve says quietly. "But in that moment, for the first time, there was nothing he could do. Just like now. He can't help. And who is Buck if he's not taking care of somebody else?"

Before you can respond, a muted ding in your ear catches your attention. You reach up and tap your earpiece. "Yeah?" you ask, voice wavering unexpectedly.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asks through the ear piece.

"Nothing," you answer firmly. "What's up?"

"Five minutes," she says. 

You glance over your shoulder and out the rear window to catch a glimpse of her in the driver's seat of the car behind you. Scott sits beside her in the passenger seat tossing goldfish crackers in the air and catching them in his mouth. 

"Take exit 208 two miles east," she says. "Sam will be waiting for us there."

"And so will more snacks," Scott chimes in, missing his next goldfish as Natasha reaches out and catches it in her fist, crushing it to crumbs.