Until You [BL]

Chapter 11 - Meltdown

End of term is finally in sight. Finals over, just finishing all his tasks and deliverables, and then he and Ash can play, Fallon was thinking. 'Back to Ash.' Fallon's breathing suddenly hitched. 'When did it happen? When did I start thinking of Ash as my home? My safe zone? No no no. This cannot be happening! No no no.' He's in a panic, he knows that but knowing does not seem to help in calming himself down.

What the hell were you thinking Fallon? Have you learned nothing?

He walked to the kitchen, found the carafe of water, poured some in a glass and greedily drank it. His legs gave in, and he slumped down with his back by the closed door of the fridge. He stayed there for hours it seems, shaking and hugging his knees.

When Fallon finally calmed down, it was already dark outside. He was about turn on the lights when his phone lit up and vibrated from the coffee table. He wanted to let it ring unanswered fearing it's Ash calling. He slowly got up and weakly walked to the coffee table when the phone stopped ringing. He wanted to turn it off before someone calls again. But as soon as he reached it, the phone started ringing again so he held it intending to wait for the ringing to stop before turning it off. But he saw that it is not Ash calling him. He answered the call when he saw it was River's name on the caller ID.

"Falls, where are you? You were not at univ today. Are you unwell?"

As soon as Fallon heard River's concerned voice, he broke down again, "River, I can't do this. Not again. No!"

***

When River found Fallon sitting at the floor of his condo, with his back at the sofa, face buried and arms hugging his knees, she was scared thinking someone abused her friend. Fallon never told her about his past and she felt that someday Fallon will tell her when he's ready. But she can sense that Fallon's afraid of something. He's too neat and orderly, too cautious, too careful, too calm, too logical.... too lonely.

She slowly sat beside Fallon, carefully rubbed his arms a couple of times, and stayed silent. Just letting him know to take his time. She's just here to support him. No need to talk if he doesn't want to. No need to get up if he's not feeling it.

After what felt like hours, Fallon started talking. "River." Fallon slightly cleared his throat. "There was once a boy who loved another boy with everything in him. His world revolved around this love. He was so proud of this love that he was open about this to the one person who he knows will always support and understand him. And the boy was happy for a while. Until one day, he heard from his own love's lips that all of it was fake."

Fallon raised his head but looked blankly ahead. "The boy felt like he was dying and so he ran to the one person who he knows will never turn his back on him. But it seems the boy received too much happiness that the fates decided to take back everything from him. He heard that very same day his biggest supporter say that he is blaming himself why the boy is like 'that'." Fallon raised his hands slightly to motion a quote symbol for River to understand what he means by the word 'that'.

Fallon started sobbing. "That was the moment when the boy realized he was truly alone now. The boy decided to run away from all of it but before he was able to, his love not knowing he now knows the truth, confronted him. When the boy said it was over, his love slapped him hard. And though a brave archer defended him, that slap further broke the boy's spirit."

"Everything broken, the boy decided to clean up his room, pack away his life, traveled far and decided to just live his life quietly. And though life is somewhat happy with a new friend, it still passed by quietly. But the fates seem to hate him so much because though he traveled far, the boy came across the brave archer again. And with him is someone who possesses a fire in his eyes that can melt the boy's resolve to just pass by this life quietly. The boy was truly scared because he gave everything to the love he had before. And when it ended, he was left with nothing."

Fallon bent his neck backwards to let his head fall on the sofa and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, he then turned his head sideways to face River. He sobbed loudly once more before saying, "River, I cannot do this again."

***

Ash is in a very bad mood. Fallon is in hiding. He won't take his calls nor reply to his messages, and Archer and River have no idea where he is. He has no idea what is happening. He's pissed and worried, more worried than pissed truth be told.

When Ash first met Fallon, he has no particular opinion or feelings on the person. He is indeed good looking with that youthful freshness he exudes.

As he got to know him better, what really pulled him is Fallon's eyes. The way they seem to be begging for comfort and giving you a 'back off' vibe at the same time.

He became interested as days go by, so he started flirting with him. But he decided to seriously pursue more than friendship after the CWC thing happened. That was the moment when he realized, 'Ahh, so this is how it feels to want to protect someone from anything and everything that could hurt them'. He wanted to know more about what happened but more than that, the urgency of wanting to show Fallon that he can trust him. That he, Ash, will always be on his side no matter what.

He worked hard on earning Fallon's trust. He showered him with attention and care. He feels that Fallon is already well on the way of trusting him, and he thought they are already close enough to confide with each other. Then suddenly this. He is going crazy over worrying what is going through that boy's mind.

"Kuya, please stop pacing. I'm sure Fallon just needs a bit of time to sort out his feelings. After all, that asshole did a number on him so he's maybe a bit scared of his feelings right now." Archer said.

"What the hell does that mean? What did that asshole do to Fallon?" Ash shouted which made Archer flinch and say 'Ooops, me and my big mouth.' in his head

And so, Archer had no choice but to tell Ash what happened before senior high graduation. Ash was so mad

"I'm going to kill him! I will kill that bastard!" Ash shouted as he rages and punch the wall. Imagining Fallon suffering from what he learned brings out the savage side of him. When he gets his hand on the scumbag that hurt his Fallon, he will tear apart that creature, piece by painful piece.

Archer had to repeatedly assure Ash that he was there to take care of Fallon when that happened. That yes, he did punch the asshole hard in the face and yes, he will help him kill the bastard when time comes. However, nothing Archer says can calm his Kuya's pacing.

Over the next days, Ash's mood progressed from bad to worse. He looks like he wants to beat everybody up. He alternated from threatening to lock Fallon up when he finds him to praying that he hopes Fallon is safe and he will give anything as long Fallon comes back safe.