Until You [BL]

Chapter 12 - I'm scared

It's starting to drizzle when River parked her car on the vacant lot by the bay walk which serves as the parking lot of the long-term hotel building where Fallon is staying.

River sighed as she removes her seatbelt and looked at Archer seating on the passenger side. She really tried her best to convince Archer to let Fallon have some space before confronting his issue. However Archer feels that Fallon has had enough time to think things over and that they need to intervene now.

"River hon, I know you feel guilty but trust me, this is for their own good, ok?" Archer convinced her

River nodded and led Archer inside the building and to the row of elevators. She wanted to give a heads up to Fallon, but Archer is watching her closely.

They rode the elevator to the fifth floor and when they reached the floor, River knocked on the third door from the left of the elevator.

Fallon opened the door and slightly smiled when he saw River by the door. He opened the door wider only to try and close it again when he saw Archer. However, Archer was quick to block his attempt and with a slight push, he was able to open the door wider.

River mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry' but Fallon's focus is on Archer. His mind running through different excuses he could come up. He is more concerned of how to convince Archer not to tell Ash his whereabouts.

Archer sat on a chair by the window crossing his legs and River stood beside him. He looked around the room trying to think of an opening to try and convince Fallon to talk to them. In the end, he decided to just directly ask.

"So Fallon, were you ever planning on letting us know what the hell is the matter?" Archer sarcastically asked Fallon. He wanted to level down the aggressive tone, but he was reminded of Ash's state when he could not contact Fallon.

But Fallon did not say anything. He just just bowed down his head and stayed quiet.

"I thought we are your friends. So why avoid us when you are going through something?" Archer asked. Fallon still did not say anything and though Archer is starting to lose patience, he still tried to plead his brother's case.

"It is obvious that you and Ash like each other. He obviously cares about you, and I know you are the same." Archer convinced.

Still Fallon stayed silent which irritated Archer. "Fallon, I cannot help you if you won't tell me what the fuck is wrong!"

Fallon started mumbling which annoyed Archer more, "WHAT?"

"I'm scared ok? I feel like I am nothing without him!" Fallon suddenly roared.

"I've never cared nor love anyone as much as I have with Ash... more and deeper each day...and it is scaring the hell out me. I was once happy because of love, I once had that, but I finally realized that I am not meant to be happy. Every moment of happiness I feel will have to be traded with something and I do not have anything, not anymore." His voice getting weaker after his initial outburst.

"You know what I had to pay for that short period of happiness. You know that I had to pack away my life and move here to forget everything. You of all people should know and understand what I have lost, Archer. I do not want Ash to be the one I have to give up this time. So please, can you just let me be?" He pleaded hoarsely.

Archer sighed, he did get Fallon. But he also wanted to encourage him that true love exists and not all romance end in tragedy. That he deserves all the happiness in this world. But no matter how much he wanted to tell him these things, he thinks that he is not the one meant to convince him. And so he just said, "I'm sorry Fallon but Kuya is already on his way here.

Fallon face paled but then he suddenly ran outside, rode the elevator, and sprinted to his car. Just as he was about to open his car door, Ash's car stopped in front of Fallon's car.

Ash got out the car and slammed the door hard. "Going somewhere? Trying to run away again?"

The rain started to pick up as Fallon looked at the sea sadly and longingly. He then walked to the walls by the water. He breathed deeply trying to clear his mind. Fallon then extended his hand palms up to catch droplets of rain. He's hoping the feeling of rain falling on his hand will bring back the calmness that rainy days have brought him in the past. He will have to talk to Ash now.

He needed this talk to be calm and honest. Mostly honest. And he is hoping that the honesty will make Ash understand that he is not meant to be happy. That friendship is the most he expects out of Ash because happiness is not for him. And that he has learned to accept that. He hopes that this honesty will not damage the friendship he had with Ash. Scared he might be, but he will be as honest and firm as possible. Because anything beyond friendship will be too much to pay for. He has nothing now.

Ash looked at Fallon's lonely back for a few moments before he decided to follow him. When Fallon felt Ash by his side, he started talking.

"I cannot do this Ash. "

The rain is falling heavily as Ash sighed and bowed his head. He feels defeated even though he has not yet even started the fight.