𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚍 𝙱𝚘𝚢 (𝚋𝚡𝚋)

24.

a/n: i'm really sorry for my absence i'm really trying to stay consistent but i'm so depressed all the time and i'm trying to manage that. anyways ... very very late happy holidays + new years. love you guys sm and i hope you enjoy this update.

**
Shawn darts his eyes around the room. The therapist he picked was relatively young and already had two sons. Shawn begins to bounce his leg up and down.

"Shawn?"

Shawn glances up at the woman, his thumb in his mouth as he was biting down on his nail. "Hm?"

"I asked you what brought you here today," She smiles and sits back, trying to make him feel more comfortable. "Talk. Tell me about yourself."

"Like...What? What...What do I start with?"

"Well, just tell me about your life right now. How is it treating you? What do you do for work?"

"Oh...Uhm...I'm a...Tattoo artist. Well, as of recently I just started doing actual sessions. Uh...I-I'm engaged," Shawn lifts his hand to show off the band.

The therapist smiles. "That's amazing! You and you're girlfriend have been together for a while?"

"Boyfriend, actually. And yeah, six years."

"My apologies! That's amazing-."

Shawn sits up quickly and shakes his head. "Look I'm sorry I'm just," Shawn gulps. "I'm really fuckin' nervous."

"That's totally fine. Tell me what's on your mind. What's making you so nervous?"

*
Jaxon sighs before shoving his mouth with a handful of french fries. AJ nudges Kai with his elbow, and she glances over at him.

He tended to eat aggressively when he was nervous.

"Uh, Jax?"

Jaxon looks up at Kai, a mouthful of fries. "Hm?"

"Are you alright, love?" Kai passes him a napkin.

Jaxon kindly accepts, wiping his mouth. He finishes chewing before speaking. "Yeah, sorry. Just...Shawn's at his first therapy session today. I'm freaking out."

"I'm sure he's okay, Jax," AJ says.

Jaxon nods and sits back. "Yeah...I just...I want him to get better...I really need him to."

"Don't stress about it, Jaxon. He's being so brave to actually book an appointment, I'm sure it's going well. Just, try not to think negatively."

Kai nods her head. "Yeah. The biggest thing right now is you being there for him. He's gonna need all the support he can get."

Jaxon nods. "I know...And I'm already super proud of him for even going. I think...I think it'll be really good for him."

**
The therapist, Dr. Smith sets her pen down. "How about this? Tell me about your mom. What was she like?"

Shawn glances down at his engagement ring and shrugs. "She was...She was like the brightest person in the room. You could never have a bad day while being around her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I remember coming home from school every day super excited to see her because she always asked me about my day. It was simple things like that, I guess."

"What's your first memory of her?"

"Honestly...I think she knew I was gay before I did. Just things she would say to me. And she was also super observant. My dad would tease me about if I had a crush and I always got so nervous. She was always making me feel comfortable."

"Sounds like she was your rock."

Shawn sits back in the chair and nods. "She is...She was."

"And what about your dad? Before your mother's passing?"

"He was like...My best friend. We'd always play sports together or...We'd always watch badly rated movies and laugh about them."

Shawn's lips twitch and he reaches down to spin the ring on his finger. "He was the sweetest to my mom. I loved seeing how he treated her. Never let her open doors...Never let her make her own plate, y'know? Telling her how much he loved her."

Shawn sniffs and shakes his head. "They were high school sweethearts. One thing I know is that he really loved her. And I'm glad he did."

"So I can assume losing your mother was..."

"It was super fucking hard. Especially for him...I mean they'd known each other for like...Years. Losing her broke him....His entire world was gone."

"And you? I could imagine it was hard for you as well."

"I didn't really...Understand the concept of death at the time. I guess I was being blissfully ignorant...Hoping she would come home. But when I realized she wasn't I just got angry."

"Was of the fact that she was gone or was it more your father beginning to change?"

"It was...First losing her. Because my dad was still being a good father for like a year...But then I got angry because I lost both my parents in a sense. And it was hard because I wasn't able to make many friends cause everyone just saw me as some fucking charity case and I was so tired of hearing how sorry everyone was about it. I didn't want to talk about my mom all the time I didn't want this constant fucking reminder-."

Shawn takes a deep breath and looks up at the therapist. "I'm sorry. Sorry, that's not what you asked."

"That's fine, Shawn. It's important for you to actually talk about these feelings. This is the whole point."

Shawn sigh and nods his head. "Right. Sorry."

**
Shawn uses his key to unlock the front door. He walks in, setting his bag down on the floor. He tosses his keys on the coffee table as he walks into the living room.

"Babe? Are you home?" He takes a seat on the couch.

Jaxon appears from the bedroom, smiling. "Hey," He shrugs his shoulders. "H-How was it?"

Shawn looks up at him and shrugs back. "Come sit."

Jaxon obeys and takes a seat next to Shawn. He instantly reaches down to grab Shawn's hand, squeezing it tightly. "So?"

"It was okay, I think. We talked about my mom." Shawn says. He gulps and leans his head on Jaxon's shoulder. "Yeah, we talked about my mom."

"What'd you talk about?"

"Just her...We talked about who she was to me...Dr. Smith told me she was my rock," Shawn chuckles a little. "I really miss her, Jaxon."

**