𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚍 𝙱𝚘𝚢 (𝚋𝚡𝚋)

31.

Shawn takes a deep breath as he walks back into his and Jaxon's apartment. Jaxon was still sitting on the couch, now watching a TV show.

He turns around when he hears the front door open, smiling at Shawn. "Hey!" He pauses his show and stands up to greet Shawn. "Where's Gav? Thought he was coming back over?"

"He is. He went to grab a change of clothes." Shawn says. He walks over to the fridge and grabs a beer.

Jaxon furrows his brows. "So? I take it the dinner went bad?"

"Not bad," Shawn takes a swig and sighs. "Just really emotional, I guess."

"What happened?"

"Gav's dad apparently wants to get to know him. He like, apologized, apologized for the shit he did. Like hella sincere, and I don't know. I think Gav is all mixed up on his feelings."

"Poor guy," Jaxon frowns. "What do you think he's gonna do?"

"No clue," Shawn sets his beer down and walks up to Jaxon. He wraps his arms around him, swaying their bodies slowly. "Why are all parents so fucked up?"

Jaxon brings his hands up to Shawn's back. "That's a mystery I'm still trying to figure out."

*
Gavin grabs the bottle of tequila, pouring himself another shot. Shawn was sitting next to him at the table. Gavin swallows the alcohol, wincing at the initial burn.

"You talked to Chantel?"

"Yeah. Told her my dad reached out. She tried to come home early but I told her to stay with her family."

"What do you think your gonna do? I mean do you want to get to know him?" Shawn asks.

Gavin sighs and brings his hands to rustle his hair a little. "Fuck. I don't know." He grabs the bottle of tequila again, pouring himself another shot.

"Can I ask you something?" Gavin asks as he wipes his mouth, taking his shot.

"Go ahead."

"What's the last thing you ever said to your dad?" Gavin asks.

Shawn sits back in his seat, taking a deep breath. "Uh...I told him goodnight and I'll see him in the morning-."

"But like...What's the last like...The actual thing you said? Something that could hold weight on a person?"

Shawn purses his lips and thinks. He hasn't really thought about the last important conversation he had with his dad.

"Uh...I told him that I missed my mom," Shawn clears his throat and grabs the tequila bottle off the table, putting it up to his lips and taking a swig.

Gavin frowns a little bit. "I don't know if I want the last thing I've ever said to my dad to be 'fuck you', you know?"

"So, you wanna get to know him?"

Gavin gulps and brings his hands up to his eyes, which had filled with tears. Shawn nods his head and reaches out, setting his hand on Gavin's back. "It's alright, man."

**
Gavin went back to his apartment for the night. He sighs and grabs his computer off his desk, Facetiming his mom.

Elizabeth's bright smile fills the screen. "Hey, baby! I was just about to call you."

Gavin smiles a little at her. "Hey, Ma."

"What's wrong, Gav?" She can immediately pick up on Gavin's emotions through the screen.

"How do you know something's wrong?"

"Cause you're my son, duh. Plus, whenever you're stressed your right brow furrows a little more than usual."

Gavin chuckles a little. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay. Are you alright? Is Shawn alright? Chantel?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's okay, Ma. It's just," Gavin's face softens up, feeling like he could cry. "Dad called me."

"Oh, honey," Elizabeth's tone softens. "What did he say?"

"Uh, he wanted to get dinner. And so, I did. B-but that's not the issue it's just...He said he wants to get to know me."

"He did?"

"Y-Yeah." Gavin wipes his eyes, not letting any tears fall. "He apologized about everything. About leaving you."

"You mean, us?" Elizabeth reassures. Gavin always had a tendency to leave himself out of the equation, always feeling as if his dad leaving hurt her more than him. "Do you want to get to know him?"

Gavin takes in a sharp breath, trying to control his breathing. "It's not fair to you. It's not fair for him to want to get to know me."

"What are you talking about, love?"

"He left you. All alone to raise me. If I allow him to know me like you do...That's like betraying you and everything you've ever done for me."

"Oh, Gavin," His mom shakes her head. "Don't you ever think that. I would never want to keep you from having that connection and bond with your father."

Gavin lets out a sob, bringing his hands up to wipe his eyes again. "That's not incredibly selfish? He hurt you."

"He hurt you too, baby. And if you want to get to know him then you do that. You deserve that and I want you to get to experience something you never had."

"But-."

"No, honey. Tell me what you want. Without worrying about me just talk to me."

Gavin takes in a breath. "I-I...wanna get to know him but I'm scared. What if he takes off again."

"Then we will deal with it then. Just like we always have. But while he says he's gonna try, I think it will be good for you to try, alright honey."

"You promise you won't be mad at me?"

"No, honey. Your father isn't a bad man. Yes, he did something to you and me that hurt, but if you want to get to know him, forgive him, and have him your life you are allowed to. I promise, promise I will not be mad."

***
Gavin was sitting in his bed, his phone in his hands. He was fumbling with it, deciding if he was going to call his dad. He told his mom that he would, but he didn't know if he actually wanted to. He clicks on his dad's contact, simply having named his dad 'Grant' and nothing else. A stark contrast to his mom's contact, which was labeled 'Mama' with a heart emoji.

He decides against calling, deciding a text message would be easier to handle. He watches as the keyboard pops up on the screen, staring blankly at the keys.

hey dad-

No, he deletes Dad. He shouldn't call him that. He hasn't been that for years, why should he switch it up now?

hey, grant-

No, that felt too distant. He wanted a relationship with his dad. He needed to seem at least somewhat interested.

hey. i enjoyed dinner. for the most part. and i got scared when you asked if i wanted to get to know you but i think i do. i'm just afraid you're gonna hurt me like you always have.

Gavin stares at the typed message, reading over the letters placed together to form certain words. He blinks a few times before pressing send, tossing his phone on Chantel's side of the bed, where her sleeping body was missing.

He missed her. Wonders how she's doing with her family. He should call but doesn't want to freak her out with his daddy issues. He sighs and lays back in the bed against the headboard. He hears his phone buzz no more than a minute later.

He reaches over to grab it, allowing Face ID to recognize him so he could preview the message.

I know, Gavin. I don't have any credibility with you but I love you, son. I am trying and I will continue to try because I know I messed up. Call me soon, okay? Love, Dad.

**