𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚍 𝙱𝚘𝚢 (𝚋𝚡𝚋)

41.

"Only two weeks left, can you believe it?" Jaxon's ask, zipping his pants. He walks back into their bedroom, looking at Shawn who is still lying in the bed.

"My mom's flying down and I can't wait to see her," Jaxon picks his shirt up from where it was sitting on the bed. "And I know it's stupid but I'm so nervous to walk. I even considered just having them mail me my diploma."

Shawn looks up from where his head was resting on his pillow. "You should be proud."

"I am, I am. Just a little nervous." Jaxon slides his shirt over his head, taking a seat on the bed. "Anyways...Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," Shawn pulls his blanket up.

"Are you gonna go in to work today?" Jaxon asks, resting his hand on Shawn's face, rubbing his thumb up and down.

Shawn shrugs his shoulders. "I don't...I don't feel good."

"Do you want me to call Maverick? Have Gav talk to your boss at the diner?"

Shawn doesn't respond, just reaches down to grab Jaxon's hand. Jaxon watches him for a second. "I can stay home today."

"No," Shawn shakes his head. "I'm fine, promise. And you have a speech to do."

"Are you sure?" Jaxon furrows his brows. "I can email my professor and ask for an extension."

"No, baby. It's your last two weeks. I'll be fine."

"Okay." Jaxon leans down and kisses him twice. "I love you. I'll call you when I get out of class, okay?"

"Love you too."

*  *  *

Walking out of the apartment, Jaxon makes a quick stop at Gavin's place. Gavin greets him and allows him to step into their apartment.

Chantel was making breakfast for the two. "Hey, Jax! Want something to eat?"

"Oh, I'm okay," He says, taking a seat at their table.

Gavin grabs his coffee mug off of the counter, joining Jaxon at their table. "So, what's going on? Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Jaxon nods. "Well, uh...Yeah, maybe."

Chantel furrows his brows and looks at Jaxon. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Jaxon lets out a sigh. "Shawn isn't doing well. And, I know I probably shouldn't be sharing with the world but," He turns to look at Gavin. "You're his best friend and...I'm just really worried."

"Geez, what happened?" Gavin asks, feeling the anxiety radiating off of Jaxon.

"He keeps having nightmares about the night he was shot," Jaxon starts. "The first time it happened it was...it was a okay. But, he had a panic attack the other night, and ever since then he won't get out of bed and he freaks out if I'm not near him and I just don't know what to do."

Jaxon takes a deep breath, his eyes tearing up unintentionally. "Sorry," He says, his voice cracking.

Chantel turns off the stovetop, walking over to join them at the table. She places her hand on his back, looking over at Gavin.

Gavin nods his head in a comforting way. "It's okay, Jax. I think he just needs to reset, you know? He's never opened up about that night and with his therapy, he might just be overwhelmed."

Jaxon nods his head, wiping under his eyes. "Yeah...Kai said that too."

"He's just gotta learn how to cope," Gavin frowns a little. "We all do. That night was...Hard. Especially for him and...In all honesty, he was due for a breakdown."

Jaxon takes in a breath and nods. "You're right...I'm sorry," He says, wiping under his eyes again. "I didn't mean to barge in here and cry."

Chantel frowns as well. "You gotta take care of yourself too, Jaxon."

Gavin nods. "Mhm. You can help him, but if you need to step out and take a breath, make sure you allow yourself to, okay?"

Jaxon looks up and nods. "I will...Promise."

"I'll swing by your place before work. Talk to him." Gavin says.

"Okay...Thank you." Jaxon lets out another breath and stands up. "I have to go. Communications final. I have to give a speech."

Chantel smiles at him. "Good luck!" She wraps her arms around him. "You got this!"

"Thank you," Jaxon says as he hugs her back.

As Jaxon was exiting out the front door, Gavin stops him. "Hey. Just remember we're all here for both of you, okay?"

"Thank you, Gavin."

*  *  *

"Knock, knock." Gavin enters Shawn's bedroom, seeing him lying in the same spot he was in when Jaxon left.

Shawn turns his head, grabs the TV remote, and pauses his show. "Did Jaxon send you?"

"If I say yes are you gonna get mad?"

"No," Shawn says and lays his head back down.

Gavin nods and slides his jacket off. He walks around to Shawn's side, taking a seat. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Shawn doesn't make eye contact, staring at one of the picture frames on the nightstand. It was a picture of him and Jaxon when they were still teens. Jaxon was still closeted at the time, and they were having one of their many car dates.

"Okay. But...What if you tried to?"

"Tried to what?"

"Talk about it," Gavin responds. "Tell me about the dream."

Shawn can feel his face getting hot with emotion. He shakes his head. "I don't feel good. I think I just wanna take a nap."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Shawn grabs his blanket, pulling it up over his shoulders.

Gavin watches him and nods. "If you need me, you can call you know that, right?"

Shawn furrows his brows as his eyes fill up with tears. He sits up in the bed, finally looking at Gavin. "I know."

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk?"

"I don't know what to say," Shawn says, as he pulls at a loose string on their comforter. "I've...never been able to piece together that night and now...It's so fucking apparent and in my face."

"Have you talked to your therapist about it?"

Shawn nods. "She thinks I have PTSD."

Gavin raises his eyebrows. "And...What do you think?"

Shawn sits in silence for a second before shaking his head. "Nothing...Nothing," He lays back down in the bed, bringing his blanket up over his shoulders. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

*  *  *