Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk

outtake: another one

"I think I'd like another one." Matt says, feeding Henry bites of pasta.

"Another serving?" You ask idly, clearing away the dishes while Matt has Henry distracted. He took to being a dad like a pro, as if he was meant for it and it made you fall a little more in love with him every day.

So you're not that surprised by the next words that come out of his mouth.

"Another baby." He says so casually, as if he is asking for another serving. You on the other hand drop the plate in the sink and end up with a shirt speckled with soapy water.

You'd been playing around with the idea of Henry having a sibling for awhile but you didn't think you and Matt were ready just quite yet.

"Now?" You ask lightly, turning to look at him. He's leaning back in his chair, watching Henry smack his spoon on his plate sending pasta sauce everywhere. You walk over, ignoring the whine from Henry when you take the spoon from him before any further mess can be made.

"Well, we should put the baby to bed." Matt says, smirking and you roll your eyes at the insinuation.

"Matthew, be serious for a minute." It's a struggle to keep your voice even because you have an image in your head now of another mini Matthew running around but you know he hasn't actually thought this through.

He furrows his brows and crosses his arms over his chest, almost defensively. "I am serious."

You study him for a moment before taking Henry out of his highchair so you can wash all the sauce off him and get him ready for bed. When you start walking away but pause before leaving the kitchen and look back at Matt who's staring at the table now, seemingly in deep thought.

"I don't think you are."

...

Things between you and Matt have been tense since the conversation about having another baby. It's been a few weeks and luckily, Matt was on a week long road trip so you had a bit of a break from the stress of trying to make things better. Arguing with Matt was something you hated because it reminded you of the old days before the two of you were you.

You confided in Chantal about the feelings, having become very close to her since you and Matt were together. You knew she would be over the moon to have another grandchild but she's also been one of your biggest supporters.

"Well," she had said, waving at Henry over Facetime who was giggling and showing his toys to her. "I always knew Matthew would be a good dad and that he wanted a family. So I can't say I'm not surprised."

Her words make you feel a little guilty and she saw it on your face because she smiled gently. "That's not to say you have to feel that way. If you're going to bring another life into this world, you both have to want it."

You sighed. "It's not that I don't want to, I'm just worried we're not ready."

"And you might not be," she said softly but there was a twinkle in her eye. "I think you will both know when you're ready."

That was two days ago and Matt is due back tonight. The texts between the two of you over the past week have been awkward and forced, mainly about Henry so you're anxious to see him.

It's late by the time he gets home and you know he must be exhausted but you still hear him quietly open Henry's door and poke his head in to check on him. His steps are slower when he approaches your shared bedroom and he quietly pushes the door open and you wonder if he hopes you're asleep.

But you're not. You've been sitting in bed reading since you put Henry down.

He looks almost sheepish, dropping his bag and giving you an awkward smile. "I'm gonna shower."

You nod, watching as he hesitates before sighing and walking into the en suite. Normally, he would ask you to join him or at least make a joke but he doesn't this time and it leaves you with an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Not wanting to deal with more awkwardness when he comes back out, you put your book away and lay down, getting more comfortable under the blankets. His shower is short and it's not long before he comes back into the room. Your back is to him but you don't hear him rustling through the drawer looking for clothes so when he climbs in to bed, you turn your head so fast you almost get whiplash.

He's bare chest and you narrow your eyes at him.

"Matthew, are you naked?"

He levels you with an even gaze. "And if I am?"

"You'll be cold."

He shrugs and you roll your eyes, turning back over so your back is to him. You try to sleep but the idea of him naked starts to get you a bit hot and bothered so you groan and turn around again, and yank the blankets down. He yelps when the cool air hit him and you look down to see that he's wearing a pair of boxers.

"Hey!" He says, pulling the blanket back up so it reaches his chin. "Careful with the goods."

"You're such an idiot." You say but there's no malice in your tone.

"You love me though." He says cheekily and you sigh.

"Yeah, I do."

You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I shouldn't have been pressuring you."

"You weren't." You tell him. "I just... I want to make sure we're both ready."

He nods. "I agree. We'll figure it out, just like we always do. Now c'mere, I'm cold."

You roll your eyes but scoot closer so he can wrap his arms around you. He's actually not cold at all and you know he probably just wanted to hold you.

You know that no matter what happens, the two of you will be okay.

(a little over a year later, Eleanor Ruth Tkachuk graces the world with her presence, wild blonde curls and bright blue eyes and you wouldn't have it any other way.)