In Your Arms Under The Stars

XXI

Sebastian's(POV):

We got to tour a lot of places, but Darren was the only thing on my mind he seemed to be acting so weird. I couldn't figure out why he was moody all the time he seemed to be happy to have me around then the next minute he hated my guts. I tried to comfort him back on the hotel, but it wasn't easy to please him. I just wanted our friendship back that's all and he was just — looking over at Darren who was just happily chatting with a group of girls smiling ear to ear. Feeling jaded I walked over to a server taking a drink from the tray walking over to Darren purposely bumping into him and  spilling it all over his shirt to get him away from those girls.

"Oh sorry Darren, maybe you should just take off your shirt. Show this girls just how hot you are, girls trust me when I say Darren has a great body."

I said grabbing at Darren's shirt trying to help him take off laughing as we started to wrestle with each other to see who was going to win. Oliver suddenly intervened pulling me away from Darren rolling his eyes as motioned for me to move away. Darren ran off disappearing around the corner leaving me to just stare after him unsure of what exactly happened. The two girls had disappeared, Oliver was just staring at me in disbelief and disappointment.

"Look it was just a joke, I didn't think he'd get all —"

"Sebastian it's obvious, it's obvious that your being facetious because you can't handle him being happy without you. You can't handle just giving up the idea of him wanting nothing to do with you, he didn't want you!! You messed up and now he's —- ——"

He just drifted off looking at me as if he found the words difficult to say as he ran his fingers through his hair. What the hell was going on with Darren? The bigger question was why the hell was Oliver my own brother keeping secrets from me? Grabbing Oliver's arm before he could turn to leave wanting an explanation. He knew what was going on what Darren, and whatever it was it had to do with him being sick.

"Oliver, tell me what's going on? Do you know why Darren is acting like this?"

I asked shaking his arm shaking it violently forcing him to look at me, but I could tell from the blank expression on his face he wasn't telling me. Letting his arm fall to his side deciding that if I wanted answers from Darren I'd have to ask him myself. Hastily walking to where I'd seen Darren go shocked to see him talking to Ryan and Justin who was laughing hysterically.

"Darren!! Hey Darren!! Can we talk!"

I said walking over to them grabbing Darren's wrist so he couldn't run off again. Justin and Ryan just looked at me then at each other before awkwardly walking off leaving me and Darren alone. Daren snatched away pushing me away like always he was looking at me with pure disgust. Grabbing his hand again dragging him to the parking lot glad I'd parked the closest.

"Darren I don't know what's going on with you, but please just tell me something!! I'm sorry— I'll say it a thousand times I'm so so so sorry."

I said dropping onto my knees not even caring if anyone saw me at this point I just needed Darren to understand I'd changed and would never hurt him again. For a split second Darren looked at me opening his mouth to say something, but then smacked my hand away. I couldn't let him slip through my fingers again whether he wanted me around I'd stay by his side as a friend, a brother, a lover, anything he needed me to be.

"Darren just forgive me, I'm on my knees just don't go. It's friendship, that's all I want, because I know you've lost those feelings for me a long long time ago and I'm fine with it. Just — please don't leave me here."

I said my voice cracking up as I begged on my knees grabbing his hand again tears rolling down my cheeks. I'd put my pride aside for him, it didn't matter to me that I'd never get to hold him the way I wanted to it's what was our friendship that I'm trying to save from dying. Darren looked at me throwing my hands off holding back his tears forcing a smile trying to smile through the pain, but I could tell it was hard on him.

"Sebastian anything that was good between us has died already, as for me I'm doing fine. There's nothing you need to know that you don't already know, so just please —"

"I know it's painful to think about what happened between us just don't give up —"

"Pain? Huh — feeling pain is better than feeling anything for you."

Darren said in a sharp tone staring down at me his expression was harsh it felt like he'd become completely emotionless his tears had stopped. Getting up off of my knees reaching for him, but Oliver appeared jumping between us putting his hand on my chest. Pushing his hand away jacking him up gripping his shirt tightly annoyed that he continued to get in the way butting his nose into something that had nothing to do with him. Turning around I pulled out my keys hopping onto my bike sticking the key into the engine not wanting to stick around anymore.  Putting on my helmet feeling my heart beating lightning fast I needed to get far away from him.

"Fine, Darren I'll leave you alone — I can't keep fighting to restore something that's already dead, it's not good to play with dead things."

I said closing my visor before driving off ignoring Oliver screaming my name standing in the middle of the parking lot. It's been months since that stupid day and yet he's been making me feel like garbage since then. Of course I know I deserved it all, but this was really hurting me to the core. It was hard to just accept the idea of Darren not wanting me around. It was more hard for me to accept the fact that even though I was asking to fix our friendship I wanted him back in my life — I missed holding his soft body in my arms, the way his inhaled my body with his finger tips. Tears started to roll down my cheeks as the memories came flooding back ones I don't remember —

"Darren are you sure you want to do this, everything is already messed up we —"

"Just — kiss me please—"

Coming to a full halt as I pulled up into the parking lot of our hotel room almost running into the curb. Pulling off my helmet rubbing away the tears confused what the hell I'd done, had I hurt him again? Ugh!! Ffuck!!!! My phone pinged and I already knew it'll be a string of texts from Tyler and Oliver, but I just wanted to be left alone. Swinging my leg over the bike turning off the engine shoving the key back into my pocket. Walking down the sidewalk heading into the hotel waving to everyone as I walked past. Walking up behind a group of people waiting for the elevator pulling out my phone.

Oliver: Sebastian you need to just give Darren space

Tyler: Sebastian I want to have a serious conversation when we get back.

Rolling my eyes shoving my eyes shoving my phone back into my pocket tapping my foot impatiently waiting for the stupid elevator to arrive already. Sighing wishing I'd let Darren punch me maybe then he'd forgiven me a long time ago if he'd just released some anger then everything would be fine.