In Your Arms Under The Stars

XXV

Sebastian's (POV):

As I waited outside of Justin's dressing room nervously biting my nails shaking my leg violently staring at his door waiting for him to come out. After hearing what the doctor had told me and Justin read from that pamphlet I felt genuinely nervous for my friends life and the baby. Ryan suddenly sat down next to me typing away on his phone smiling to himself. Pretending to stare harder at my phone sliding my eyes over to see who Ryan was texting.

Ryan: Yeah since you feel better, do you still want to finish what we started 😈

JP💕: Oh umm yeah we can ...

Ryan: that's my baby 💕😜

What the hell am I even reading? Have Justin and Ryan still been messing around even after that whole mess. It had to of been around that time that Justin got knocked up especially since now he's in his second trimester. Ryan didn't even know anything about this, and he'd be completely shocked when he finds out he's going to be a father.

"Sebastian I don't think I'll be able to hangout with you tonight, I've got — plans."

Justin said nervously eyes wondering over to Ryan who I could see out the corner of my eye smiling at him. Just as I was about to ask Justin what exactly were his plans Darren appeared talking on the phone with someone nodding a few time then hanging up shoving it into his pocket. Well even though somehow I'd drag myself into Justin and Ryan's mess again ... I still needed to apologize to Darren even if I've apologized before and he didn't accept it I'd try again and again until he finally forgives me.

"Darren wait up."

I called out running after him pushing past Justin and Ryan. Grabbing Darren's shoulder holding onto it tightly panting a bit. His expression was a clear look of annoyance, but he had every right to be upset with me I'd hurt him again. I just needed him to talk to me and the only way to get him to do so was to drag him somewhere private. Grabbing his arm dragging him into his dressing room locking the door behind us.

"What now Sebastian? Can't you take a hint I don't want anything to do with you so please leave me THE HELL ALONE!!"

Darren roared angrily pointing his finger into my chest. Sliding my hand over his pressing his hand onto my chest and for a few seconds we stared into each others eyes watching as everything around us faded away. No matter what I'll always be his no matter how much I try to hurt him to push my own feelings away or he pushes me away I would never not be in love with him. He hated my guts and it was my fault, but I'm going to make it up to him. After seeing what Justin's going through and what can happen it kind of made me wonder if we ever —- no we had sex and were always safe. Those flashbacks I had a few days ago felt so real ... but that party was like a month ago and I remember putting a condom on —-

"Darren — I know this is stupid to ask — I don't want to get upset with me. Have we ever had sex unprotected?"

I said nervously staring into Darren's eyes waiting for him to slap me or scream, maybe even yell at me instead he let out a long sigh. Shaking his head as he stepped back leaning against the desk his chill demeanor bothered me a little, but I couldn't tell if he was being honest with me or not. Darren's never lied to me before, he was always honest with me while we were together so — there's no need for him to lie to me now.

"Darren, I know we won't ever go back to the way things were but you should know that I'll always be here for you and you can tell me anything. This is selfish of me, but —- Darren—- even after all this time — I — I'm still in love with you Darren -"

"Sebastian, look I can't do this with you right now, I have bigger problems to think about your the least of my problems. Also Seb I don't hate, I just don't like how your always trying to make me feel as if I'm the bad guy."

Darren said running his hands through his hair his brown eyes fell upon mine and I felt like the room was shaking. It was the first time he'd said something without yelling at me or cursing at me it felt nice, but it felt weird I felt like his mood would change at any minute. Nervously walking over to Darren unsure of what to do wanting so badly to just run my hands over his body missing the touch of his skin. It would only ruin things so there was not a good thing to push it any further.

"Darren I'm sorry, I really am I've done nothing but make you feel bad for calling me out on my shit and that's unfair. I'm a hypocrite and I know it. Just — can we please at least try to mend what's broken, because nothing will get fixed if we don't try."

I said hesitatingly backing away towards the door unlocking it before opening it slightly then slipping out. Shutting the door pressing my head to the door feeling my heart pounding as the thought of being able to touch Darren the way I use to tan across my mind, being able to hold him. Those were happy times nowadays it just been hard to even get him to not look at me as if I was the most disgusting person he's ever seen.

"Sebastian, I'm just going to tell you now Darren's going through a rough time. It's best if you just stay away from him alright because its better for him and — look just back off, give him space."

Oliver said before walking off disappearing down the hall. Taking a few steps forward wanting to ask Oliver what was going on between him and Darren, but it probably wasn't in my best interest to do so. If there was something going on between my brother and — my x then I'd have to accept it even if I didn't like it. No matter how much I'm in love with Darren, he no longer feels that way for me and I've got to accept it no matter how much it hurts. Walking to my dressing room grabbing my clothes and packing then back up I zipped up my bag carrying them out heading to the van. my phone pinged just as I was leaving, surprisingly it was a text from Justin.

Justin: I know that this is a lot to ask of you, but the doctor just called me and said that the guy who's in the same "situation" as me is here in the Philippines. He set up a meeting for me and the guy to meet could you

......

Justin: Come with me please I can't go alone I need you to come with me. I know I have no right to ask you this but I can't go alone, I'm so scared. Telling him seems like the right thing to do, but at the same time i can't bring myself to do it and I don't want know if he'll even want anything to do with me after this. He'll think I'm some freak or making a big joke to force him to be in a relationship.

.....

Justin: I don't know what to do your the only person who knows this and the only person I feel like I can trust right now.

.....

For a second I paused looking around wondering if I should help him get through this, but I knew as his bestfriend I needed to be there for him.

Sebastian: Of Course I'll take you there, when is the meet up scheduled?