In Your Arms Under The Stars

XXXVI

Justin's (POV):

As months flew by and Darren entered his third trimester things became more slow. I also couldn't help to notice that Kane and Ryan were getting close to Oliver it made me nervous. I still hadn't told him anything about me and Ryan knowing he'd never want anything to do with me if I tell him, but it felt like it was too late I'd waited so long to tell him. If I tell him now — I can't do this — I can't do this!! Running up the stairs the best I could throwing the door open running to the edge of the balcony gripping the railing as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Justin look I just wanted to say that — "

"Leave me alone Ryan, I just want to be alone you've done enough!! So just go away, go back to your fucking girlfriend!!"

I said cutting him off throwing a cup at his head but I missed him by a couple of inches. Dammit! Why did I let him rile me up like this? The stress wasn't good for me and even though the baby was still in the hospital my body hadn't fully recovered. Feeling slightly fatigued leaning over I tried to take deep breaths hoping it would help. Ryan walked over to me comforting me a smile creeping up on his face as his hands slipped under my shirt.

"Ryan — "

"What? You know you miss me, your just to afraid to say it now. That night though I remember you telling me how much you missed it and how you were screaming my name."

Ryan said placing his fingers under my chin pushing my head up slowly so that I couldn't avoid eye contact. It felt like he was toying with me, but it was hard to tell with Ryan he was a very difficult person to read. Putting my hand on his chest trying to use all my strength to push him away, but I'd don't have any strength to do so. He let out a small chuckle wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me into a kiss.

"Ooh my God!! Justin? Ryan? What the fuck!!"

Sebastian said standing a few feet away from us his mouth to the floor. Looking at Seb then at Ryan be feeling completely embarrassed that I'd let myself fall into his arms again. Running back down the stairs not wanting to see Ryan or Sebastian right now, feeling so stupid. Now two people know! Kane and Sebastian the two people I didn't need to know something that —

"Hey baby are you ok? Do you need anything? Hey Sebastian can you get Justin something out the fridge."

Oliver said looking over to the left side of the room and indeed Sebastian was standing at the threshold with Kane behind him. Waving it off quickly walking to the kitchen panting scared that someone would say something and all my fears, my nightmares, the night terrors would come true. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse Sebastian strutted into the room walking over to me a malevolent smile on his faces  dragging me to the other side of the kitchen looking around then sighing.

"So are you going to tell me what the hell I just saw?! There's no way in hell I just saw you kissing Ryan behind my brothers back. He dotes on his relationship with you and your slutting around with your x behind his back."

"I'm not I just —"

"What?!! What!! Well I think the only thing for you to do is tell him or I swear I will —"

"Please let me tell him — if he find out that —"

"Find out what? Justin what's — what's going on?"

Oliver said appearing at the door walking over to us slowly his face was full of worry. Looking over at Sebastian who just threw his hands in the air backing away leaving me to fend for myself. Walking over to Oliver unable to look him in the eyes the tears just kept falling and I kept thinking back to that night. If only Oliver knew how much I actually loved him, and knew that this mistake was something I wish I could take back. Shaking my head still afraid to tell him — I couldn't tell him this would shatter everything he'd hate me.

"Look I — I made a huge mistake — I'll never do it again, just —"

"Justin look whatever it is baby we can get through it —"

"Look since Justin wants to beat around the bush instead of manning up and just tell you I'll tell you. I fucked Justin a couple months back when Darren was in the hospital and we went back home that's why I was playing my music so loud that night."

Ryan said in a lighthearted tone leaning up against the cabinet. Oliver looked at me in disgust something I knew what happen once he hears the news. Everyone was silent, but the sound of the tv blaring from the living room loudly. Reaching out for Oliver wanting to apologize again and again if I had to, but he just smacked my hands away. Grabbing onto him not wanting him to leave me. I needed him to believe me and my apologies were completely sincere.

"Wow so that's why you were acting weird when I get around Ryan. Actually who else knows?"

Oliver said looking around the room his face had gone red and there were tears resting in his eyes. Kane slowly raised his hand and everyone stared at him in disbelief then looked back at Oliver who was smiling through the pain. If I could take it all back I would, but I can't do I'll just apologize a thousand times if I have to go get him to never leave my side.

"So since I mean nothing to you, then our anniversary doesn't either. you were just going to string me along and play with my heartstrings to prove some kind of point and use me you, you could have at least warned me. Well Justin I'll give a chance to make a decision right now— who do you want to be with?"

Oliver asked turning to me giving me a ice cold stare that burned a hole in my chest. There was no way I could choose between them both the truth was I needed them both and couldn't live without either of them by my side, but in all honesty it was hard to choose, I couldn't choose! The silence and tension was suffocating everyone was waiting on me to answer, but I couldn't I didn't want to because I wanted Oliver that was the truth Ryan was nothing more than a friend.

"Look  Oliver — I want you — I choose you — please just forgive me it was nothing -"

"Oh really it was nothing, you screaming my name was nothing — the way you were clawing  up my back and me making you cum over and over and over and over again was nothing."

Ryan said still not letting it go, he just couldn't leave well enough alone. Walking over to Ryan wanting to beat his ass, but luckily Tyler, Kane, and Regie held me back. Within seconds Oliver had his hand wrapped around Ryan's throat staring into his eyes then he let him fall to the floor taking one look at Ryan then back at me sighing.

"I'll support you as a friend, always but — our relationship is finished I can no longer fight to replace him in your heart and so I'll just do the right thing."

Oliver taking a step back the hurt expression on his face was killing me. Grabbing Oliver trying to get him to smile and tell me this was all a joke, but he wasn't he just shook his head pulling my hands off of his arm letting them fall to my side.

"It's better that we don't do this anymore."

Oliver said nonchalantly before walking off disappearing up the stairs forcing me to just watch him leave me in tears in the kitchen. Everyone else just stood there and watched as things fell apart.

This was all my fault..