In Your Arms Under The Stars

XXIV

Justin's (POV):

After three days of non stop rehearsals, sound check and practice I found myself walking into the bathroom because lately I've been feeling bloated. Stepping on the scale staring down at my weight in disbelief. I'd gained over fourty more pounds since I've been here, this was impossible we haven't even been here a couple of days. This was impossible! Walking over to the mirror lifting my shirt up over my head throwing it off to the side staring at myself in the mirror. When were were in LA I had gained weight, but I thought nothing of it since I'd stopped my diet and the way I'd been craving odd foods it didn't seem like anything was wrong.

"Justin bro what are you doing we have to be at the photo shoot!!"

Regie yelled at the top of his lungs banging on the door. I felt myself sinking as I stared at my body more, not even wanting to be bothered with the photoshoot looking like a whale. Pinching the fat of my stomach deciding that I'd restart my diet today and stay away from any heavy foods. Walking over to the door unlocking it I swung it open and walking over to my bed snatching up my clothes.

"Bruh come on, I was getting ready plus trust me I won't be the one to make us late."

I said organizing my clothes for the different shoots we'd be doing today wanting to make sure that I had everything before we left. Regie took a seat on the bed leaning back his jacket falling off of his shoulder as he stared at me with a smirk on his face.  Grabbing my clothes throwing them over my shoulder walking to the door swinging it open to see Darren, Sebastian, Oliver, and Tyler out in the hallway on their phones. Kane came running down the hallway his face red as he carried down a big bag of chips handing it to Darren who immediately opened it and started to throw a handful at a time in his mouth. My mouth started to water I wanted some chips so bad, I was hungry all over Gaian but I'd promise myself to restart my diet.

"Alright let's get down to the van and head on to the venue so we can get there on time.

Tyler said putting his phone into his suit jacket pocket checking his watch and waving his finger in a circular motion. With that we all walked down the hallway heading towards the elevator to head to the photoshoot talking amongst each other or on our phones. My phone pinged suddenly then it started to ping over and over again the more I tried to ignore it. Reaching down into my pocket pulling out my phone to see who was messaging me and of course it was Ryan.

Ryan💗💕: Missing you .. 😈😈😜🍆

Tapping onto the pictures scrolling though as I stared at his member bulging through his grey sweatpants. Crossing my legs clearing my throat holding my phone a little closer to my face so that no one else could see what I'd been sent. As we walked into the building of the venue we'd be taking pictures in Ryan walked up next to me smacking my ass when no one was looking. Giving him a sheepish smile taking a few steps away from him shaking my head mouthing for him to stop.

"No."

He mouthed back before walking off over to the dressing room with his name hanging tag hanging on the door. Following him into his dressing room knowing if we got caught we'd be in huge trouble, but that's what also made it fun. As I reached to open the door I suddenly felt light headed and dizzy. I should of eaten breakfast, I skipped breakfast thinking it would be ok —- Uggh!! Turning to walk back to my dressing leaning up against the wall as my vision started to double.

"Justin are you ok?"

I heard Sebastian ask me holding me up tightly holding me in his arms. My body felt heavier than usual but I couldn't hold myself up anymore. As my vision went black I just felt my entire body becoming hot...

I woke up in a hospital a doctor was talking to Sebastian, and from the expression on Sebastian's face it was more than a fainting spell. Closing my eyes pretending to be still passed out listening closely to hear what exactly was wrong with me. The panic in Sebastian's voice was scaring me a lot more than I expected it to.

"That's impossible— he's a guy —- no your telling me that my bestfriend's pregnant."

"Yes, ah — well this isn't the best time to ask this but —- has your friend had sex in these past few months or have you two —"

"Oh no — I'm — I mean last year he may of been with someone but I — oh my God!! I think I know who's responsible for this, but Doctor you still haven't explained to me how this is even remotely possible!!"

"Ah well you see intersex people are able to do something other men aren't able to do. They have male organs and female reproductive organs, his are located in his anus and with the way that the baby looks now I'd say he's already in his second trimester. It's just odd that he's been able to hide it this long he's about 14 -17 and he's ... due May 23,2023 of next year. Ah I — could tell you the gender of you —- "

"Ah no I —- I don't know if I — I should — "

"I want to know."

I said softly sitting up swinging my legs over the bed still a little dazed, but I didn't feel as light headed or dizzy as before. I'd heard enough honestly there was no other way around this, soon enough I'd have to explain to Ryan that he'd be a father. What bothered me the most was my relationship with Ryan was strictly friends with benefits. That meant no feelings involved, sex was what we needed from each other and absolutely no use of the "L" word. This would complicate things between us and whether things go the way I expected it to or not, good or bad I wanted to know the gender of my baby.

"Don't you think you should call Ryan and tell him to come —"

"I'll explain all of this to him soon, right now I just want to know the gender everything else I'll handle it on my own time."

I said holding my hand over my stomach tears rolling down my cheeks as I thought about all the times I'd chugged down alcohol, eaten bad foods, and had sex with Ryan unknowingly harming the baby. I was already in my second trimester so even if abortion came to my mind I wouldn't be able to do it, I had to no other choice but to go through with it.  The doctor sighed handing me the ultrasound and all I could do was stare at it trying to think of what I'd do once they get here.

"You have a healthy — baby girl — congrats, but I would also like to talk to you about joining a little meet up. I had this conversation with your friend here about you not being the only intersex person here, a young man came into one of my friends offices in LA — about your age came in and his in the same situation your in. I'd visited up there for a convention and handed them this same pamphlet to help them navigate through pregnancy. If I were to set something up with you two so that you two could talk then would you be up for that."

The doctor said reach in behind him pulling out a pamphlet holding it out for me to take. At first I was hesitant to take it wondering if I really could go through with this pregnancy, if Ryan didn't react the way I expected how would I raise this child alone — what would I tell my mother.

"Just give me some time."