Lost & Found

Chapter 5

Dinner is delicious. Eric wasn't kidding when he said he could cook. He made us a pasta dish with chicken and bacon, and I absolutely devoured it. Between bites I filled him in on the Nita situation and my conversation with Harrison.

"If you don't mind my saying so," Eric starts, "you seem to be doing really well with all this. I've never been married, and my one long-term relationship ended because I was an asshole and because I chose to break up with her. And that gutted me. It's haunted me for years. You're actually married to this chick, and you seem really cool about the whole situation."

"I think what guts you is guilt," I suggest around a mouthful of smoky, cheesy goodness. "You cared for that girl, and you hurt her."

"Nah, man, I think it's love," Eric argues. "I've hurt lots of people in my lifetime. I know guilt. But this is the one that keeps me up at night. It's because I love her."

"Could be," I agree. "But think about it this way; if your mom had refused to forgive you and said she would no longer be your mom, that would haunt you too, right?"

"Of course," Eric says emphatically, "and that's my point. I love my mom. I was awful to her. If she hadn't forgiven me and agreed to rebuild our relationship, I would have been crushed, because I love her. I think that's why I'm still so caught up on... uh, on my college girlfriend. I love her. She accepted my apology, and we're friends again, but we can't ever have that relationship back that we had before. She was too hurt. I'm afraid I broke her, man. Did you know she's still single after all these years?"

"So are you," I point out.

"I had my shit to figure out," he says dismissively. "I needed to grow up first. She was perfect already. She's so sweet, and supportive, and she's smokin' hot, too. Any guy would be lucky to have her. Her family is great, for the most part. I mean, her brother is kind of a dork, and her dad isn't fond of me anymore, but I don't blame him for that. And even he's still nice to me and all. Her mom is great, though. She called me and called my mom after the whole Al thing happened. She's super sweet and encouraging - the quintessential mom. She even brought me food and homemade cookies when I got to Chicago."

"Your ex is from Chicago?" I ask. "I thought you met at college in Ohio?"

"Uh, we did," he says quickly. "She's from the Chicago area originally, but we both went to school at Ohio State."

"I thought you were required to refer to it as 'The Ohio State University,'" I tease, referring to the way he and his fellow Ohio State alums often refer to the school in their NFL intro videos.

Eric laughs heartily and suggests turning on the Thursday night football game.

"Is it weird that I'm okay with watching football?" he asks after finding the game and turning on his surround sound system.

"I don't think so," I say. "We loved our sports, and gave years of our lives to playing them. That doesn't just go away. You might still go back to playing, if your passion and work ethic allow you to overcome your anxiety. My situation was different. I ran from boxing to get away from my father. If the situation were different, I might have trained to keep going. I still watch boxing sometimes, and before I was married I had bags in my house and did some boxing workouts. I should warn you, though, the first time I saw someone actually knocked unconscious in the ring, it did set me back."