Healing Diagnosis

Money

Bills. Clothes. Shoes. Food. Phones. Jewelry. Gas. Reading all those things I'm sure you're like those aren't bad. What does any of that have to do with healing? You'll be surprised at how you spend your money plays a part in your healing.

How many times have you went shopping when you were depressed? How many times have you ate out because you didn't feel up to cooking? How many pairs of shoes you purchased for countless amounts of sex dates? Have I opened your mind up yet? Do you see the correlation between the two now?

If you still don't, sit tight it'll all make sense by the end. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a depressed state of mind and I just randomly purchased a shirt. Or ordered something for the kitchen. Let's not get started on Jewelry. As matter of fact, that's how I'll break this down to you.

I'm going to tell you about the time buying jewelry almost set me back in my journey. Yes, you're reading this correctly. A few years back I was just coming out of depression. I met a lady that sold jewelry. To the strangers reading this, I love jewelry. One of my homegirls calls me Lady T because of how many rings I have.

Now, this lady had been not only making jewelry for me. But, she was making it for my kids as well. After awhile, my husband started to tell me to ease up on buying the jewelry. Me being fresh out of depression I was sensitive to everything. He wasn't saying I couldn't ever get it he just said to hold off because we had bills. Now, the jewelry I was buying was cheap for just one. But, I was buying five and six at a time. So much that my baby girl had both arms and her ankles full.

I decided that I wasn't going to listen and still purchased this teddy bear set from her. It was a ring, bracelet, earrings and necklace. Now, I can't wear fake jewelry. And the lady knew I couldn't because the first time I contacted her in regards to the other jewelry she was making me, I specifically said I can't wear fake jewelry. If it's fake it'll tarnish on my skin and I'll swell up.

One night I was washing dishes. And I had the ring and bracelet on while doing so. All of a sudden my finger started throbbing and my wrist started to itch. I immediately took my hands out the water and dried them off. When I was drying them off I noticed the paper towel was green. I looked down at my arm that the ring and bracelet set was on. My finger was swole and my wrist was too. Not only were they swollen, they were green!

I was so upset! So, I texted her and said, "Hey love! Um, it's no way that set I bought from you is real. My ring turned my finger green and the earrings did the same thing. Could you send me at least half my money back?" Mind you I paid $75 for the set. Which was a great deal for it to have been "real". All of my rings are at least $350 and up individually. The highest ring I have I paid $1500 cash for it.

So that tells you how much I love jewelry! So she responded, "What!!? That's first I heard of that. Bring it back I can send it back because I charged you what I paid for it." Which was a lie because she paid $180 for it. She later showed me the original price. But, if I hadn't been thinking out of emotion and just obeyed my husband I wouldn't have been in the situation to begin with.

We proceeded to text, let's also keep in mind I only had the set for a couple days before it started tarnishing. Our conversation took place November 5,2020. I didn't receive my money until February 18,2021. When I contacted her for the last time she tried to guilt trick me into feeling sorry for her because she was going through something. At first, I stopped to think and felt sorry. But then I quickly came to realize she had always thrown issues around when she went through things.

I couldn't believe she had lied to me like that. How she tried to play me and took three months to reimburse me. That quickly sent me back into sadness. This lady wasn't someone I had just met and purchased jewelry from. I've known her and had been shopping from her since 2018. We didn't just communicate jewelry. We supported one another in business. I helped her in her abusive relationship.

I even pulled up to her home one day because she was really going through it mentally. I couldn't believe I allowed another broken vessel into my life just for them to get the healing they needed and broke me again. I sent so many customers to her. I spent so much money with her. I didn't deserve that.

At least, I felt I didn't. But, in reality I got exactly what I deserved. God sent warning through my husband. But, because I allowed my emotions to get in the way I ended up hurt. We say all the time we want to be free. We want to know what real happiness is. What it looks like on us. But, when God hands the opportunity to us we abuse it.

Here are some tips to help with spending unnecessary money. First, when healing purchase you a journal. It doesn't matter what your handwriting looks like. The journal is for your eyes only unless you want to share what's in it.

Secondly, what sense does it make going out spending unnecessary money then have to borrow money to pay a bill later? If you're a spender when you're under pressure, set an allowance to spend. Make sure what you're getting will help push you closer to healing.

Lastly, but not least importantly. Talk finances with your spouse. If you look at the money as only yours, then you my friend are not ready for marriage. If your husband tells you no or not right now. Listen to him! It's not just about you.

"For the love of money is the root of all evil." Remember that!!