Healing Diagnosis

Mirror Affect

I can't say that I've enjoyed this happening to me. Having to face myself after so many chaotic events in my healing journey. After you've had many breakdowns, letdowns and disappointments. Now, it's time to reflect on the position you've played in this. How could you have handled certain things differently?

Was it worth it? All the rage, drugs, alcohol, sex and money spent. Was it all worth stalling your growth? Was it all worth the self inflicted wounds? As for me I can answer both yes and no. I've learned to accept my flaws and accept that I am not a robot. I am human and although it hurts like hell, I will make it out this.

I answered yes because, if it hadn't been for my screwups I wouldn't over-stand the importance of keeping my sobriety. As well as keeping my sanity. As much as we don't get it, the world needs people like us. People like me, you. The world needs to see that mess can quickly turn into messages. So, yes some of it was worth it.

I said no also because, why'd it take that much to listen? As an adult we know right from wrong. We know that doing certain things will put us in certain places. Some things could easily be avoided if we just listen the first time. We puncture our own hearts by not listening to our brain when our hearts are hurting.

The mirror affect isn't to hurt you nor is it to make you feel lesson of a person. It's so you can fully understand and see how important it is to get the healing you need. It's amazing how we can tell others the wrong in them but, can't seem to stomach our own bad habits. What's the saying? "Look at the kettle calling the pot black."

Take this moment to appreciate how far you've come. But, also recognize how quickly you can slip back into one the past stages. Avoid anything that triggers your desire to repeat certain behaviors. Whenever you feel the urge to act on what you've overcame, look in the mirror at the person you've become. Then remember every bad experience you've experienced while doing what you felt was pleasurable.

The mirror affect will only affect you if you truly desire better for yourself. If you're not fully prepared to change, don't look in the mirror. Letting down your children, family, friends, spouse or grandparents aren't worse then looking in the mirror and hating the person you see. Everyone can tell you how disappointed they are at you but, I won't really hit until you get home and it's just you.

It's something about being alone with our thoughts that always makes us all the more vulnerable. We suddenly understand what others were saying. We have time to focus on that conversation we had with someone hours ago. Now, all of a sudden you can agree that you were out of line how you acted in front of everyone when you were drunk.

The mirror affect isn't for others to understand your journey. The mirror affect is for you to over-stand the importance of it.