Healing Diagnosis

Coming Out

Wow! It's the end. No more sadness. No more one night stands. No more empty bottles. No more suicidal thoughts. This is it, you made it! Suddenly, the sun looks so much brighter. The outside air has a sensational smell. You can finally inhale love and exhale it to.

Doesn't this feel amazing? No longer are you allowing habits or people to control your life. But, you are controlling how and who you let in your life. Waking up has become something you look forward to. Now, you can finish those business plans. I bet you're thinking about changing your look!? Something that says, "This is who I am. I am happy and the world is going to know it."

I remember my coming out celebration. Wow! I woke up and cooked a huge breakfast for my husband and children. That evening I took my kids to Golden Corral (a buffet restaurant) to celebrate my freedom. My husband couldn't join us because he had to work. I couldn't have felt any better knowing that I was finally able to smile again.

On the way home, my son said, "mommy I'm happy that you're finally happy again. I was sad because you wasn't feeling good." I said, "son, mommy is here to stay. I'm happy to be happy too." If you're a parent please know that you're babies are watching. Even if they don't understand, they're definitely watching!

They may not say anything at the moment but, once they're ready to ask questions they will. Now that you're out of the darkness do everything you can to stay out! It is so important that you don't fall back into any old habits to keep your wounds secured. You have so much ahead of you, so many goals to achieve. Please don't lose it all again for a quick fix or a good time!

If need be, seek professional assistance. Find you an affordable therapist, go to AA meetings, find a great book to read, practice abstinence, meditate, create vision boards, go back to school, take up a knitting class or even do some community services. There is so much you could be doing to keep you in a positive mind frame! There are no excuses to keep on putting yourself through trauma.

Here are a few tips to staying out once you come out. Firstly, surround yourself with likeminded people. Whether that be at work, your friends and especially family! Sometimes, family can be your worst enemies. As pathetic as that sounds, it's the God honest truth. Keep your dreams, goal and affirmations away from the "can't seers."

You know the ones that's always, "I proud of you but, you sure they'll hire you after what happened last time?" You tell them the last time was the last time so, yes they will give me the job. I can almost guarantee you their whole facial expressions and mood will change. They'll even switch the conversation. Those type of people you stay away from.

Secondly, no matter how hard it may get sometimes. Just keep in mind how you had to go throughout so much to be where you are. Don't put too much on yourself. Setting extreme expectations in the beginning of your coming out will cause an immediate relapse. We want you to move forward by looking ahead. Not, stressed and worried about what's behind.

Lastly, but the most important. God is with you every step of the way. Ask him to grant you grace and gratitude to be the best version of yourself. Happiness isn't only in large packages some are small. Celebrate every successful moment responsibly. Love on yourself the way you want to be loved.

Coming Out is the best day ever. The day that proves you not only fought for it, you earned it by fighting!