Sea Glass (WAYHAUGHT)

So Haught

Waverly could see by her sister's expression she was struggling with those four words. Nausea rose in her stomach at what her sister might say in response. She studied her face, red puffy eyes staring back, a deep crease across her forehead, the one she knew only appeared when she was angry at someone. Too late to take back those scary words. Too late to make her sister unhear what she had heard. Too late to walk away and pretend she was someone other than what her sister now knew her to be.

"Dating," Wynonna repeated, as if saying the word would somehow give her a better understanding. "Nicole" she added, as though saying the name would bring greater clarity.

Waverly nodded. "Dating Nicole."

"What happened to Joe?"

Waverly stopped nodding, wondering where her sister was going with this. "Nothing happened to Joe. I haven't even called him."

"Why not?"

It was Waverly's turn to struggle with those words. "Why not? Err, because..."

"When you say dating."

"Wyn, I'm in a relationship with Nicole okay. Nicole and I are a thing, a couple, we're together."

That one deep crease remained on her sister's forehead. "What about Shae?"

"What about her?"

"I thought you said she was coming back."

"She's not coming back," Waverly advised. Let's hope she's not coming back.

"Are you sure? I mean, she's only been gone..." The lightbulb appeared to go on in Wynonna's head finally. "Hold on, so you're a..."

"I'm a what?"

"A..."

"Say it," Waverly pressed.

"Does mum know?"

"I wasn't planning on telling her," Waverly replied. "Not yet, anyway."

Waverly's stomach wanted to relieve itself of the little it had inside, her heart wanted to relieve itself of her body, the way it was now pounding against her ribcage.

Before this moment she had no intention of telling anyone. Were it not for Doc revealing what Wynonna feared most, she would have remained silent, playing her new game of 'I'm just friends with Nicole'. She too had been living under the same fear. Without action, without coming clean, nothing would change. Without change there was the real possibility of losing what she wanted.

She could continue to live a lie, continue to pretend she wasn't falling madly in love with a gorgeous redhead. Or, she could come out and let those in the village deal with it as they wanted. Except, when it came to their parents, she wasn't sure she was ready to test that particular water yet.

Wynonna lifted the glass to her lips, taking a mouthful. She winced as she swallowed. "Why did you tell me then?"

"I just..." Waverly's mind slowed, allowing her thoughts to percolate. "We've both got things we want," she said, eventually. "Things we've not let ourselves have. I want Nicole, you want Paris. But, you're too scared to admit Meva isn't Paris, and will never be Paris."

"Obviously," Wynonna replied.

"The only way I can make you see is for you to realise I've been unhappy too. And, the only way I'll be happy is to let myself have what would make me happy."

"So, she really makes you happy?"

Waverly nodded. "She's...I'm sorry I'm not the sister you wanted. But, I can't keep pretending to be someone I'm not. It was killing me, keeping everything good out of my life."