How It Started{starker}

Chapter thirty-eight

Bucky had woken up first, surprisingly. He looked about , confused at first , then remembering images of last night. He got up with a groan , climbed over the other two who were still sound asleep and headed for the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he waddled over to the kitchen island. Barley registering that steve was there, he poured himself some coffee. He needed it more than ever. Bucky has never been a morning person. He will get up early for missions if he has too but that doesn't mean he enjoys it, unlike mr gets up at 7am for a jog.

Before he could even put his lips on his coffee cup, Steve grabbed Bucky's face and kissed him. Bucky, who hadn't even opened his eyes completely melted into it. It felt like he hadn't kissed Steve in years. He has felt that before, not great. Steve kept his hand on Bucky's face for another few seconds ,which felt like a lifetime to Bucky, then he let go all too soon. As much as he enjoyed it , the kiss made Bucky worry a little. He knows he hasn't seen Steve since yesterday but he doesn't normally give him a full passionate kiss when he sees him. Bucky , reluctantly, opened his eyes too look at Steve. Not that he didn't want to look at Steve, because he did. Steve was mesmerising, but it was bright. With a pout on his own face , he studied Steve's. Trying to see if there was any traces of anything he should be concerned about. The only thing he saw was , guilt.

Now that really made Bucky worry.

" What's wrong?" Bucky asked Steve, his voice still rough from just waking up, still not had his coffee. Steve placed both hands on Bucky's face  then kissed him again , but shorter this time.

" Nothing , Buck." Steve replied then smiled as he started to walk away. Bucky stepped forward and took a hold of Steve's hand. "If nothings wrong, why do you look like you just killed my dog Steve?" Bucky tried to joke , but didn't laugh himself , too tired. Steve however did laugh.

"Nothings wrong , Buck. Jus' missed ya." Steve said as he put his arms around Bucky's waist. He dug his head into Bucky's neck , his grip getting tighter , as if he was afraid to let go. Bucky put his arms around Steve's shoulder , holding on to him just as tight.

"Ya got me , Stevie. 'm not goin' no where" Bucky said after he put his hand on Steve's head , running his fingers through his hair. Then it dawned on Bucky. Steve had no idea where he was last night. Bucky mentally slapped himself and closed his eyes. The two stood in a comfortable silence , just holding each other. Until Bucky spoke up,

" 'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was. Didn't think." Bucky said as he slight turned his head to kiss Steve's. Steve didn't say anything, he just held onto Bucky that little bit tighter.

"I'm not sure what you saw, if you saw, but its not what it looks like , trust me." Bucky pulled back and made Steve look into his eyes. So he could tell for certain Bucky wasn't lying. He needed him to know that.

Steve slightly chuckled then said, "I know ,Buck." he paused before he continued." You know I love you , right? I love you James." Steve finished and he looked at Bucky with a smile on his face. Bucky , on the other hand, was officially freaked.

" Are you dying? Are you breaking up with me or something? Steve you gotta tell me what the fuck is going on." Bucky said with panic in his voice as he stepped back from Steve and placed one of his hands on the counter to balance himself. Steve, wide-eyed, tried to calm Bucky down, seeing the obvious fear on his face.

"Bucky look at me , look at me. I'm not breaking up with you. I'm not dying, I promise." Steve placed both hands on Bucky's shoulders , brining him back to earth. "Then why are you being so like, affectionate and reassuring? not that I dont enjoy those things, Steve, but I woke up five minute's ago and you're hitting me with I love yous and using my name name you know? " Bucky stuttered and his voice was cracking with every word that came out. His body slightly trembling. Bucky's eyes were glazed over, almost in tears at the thought of losing Steve. Not again , he thought , Bucky wasn't sure he would be able to handle that or live through it , again.