Operation Mackerel: 10 Ways to Make Dazai Osamu Jealous

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

"Poor little chibi, you're so small and ugly that people actually run away from you," Dazai started from behind him and Chuuya's about to kick his ass when Dazai continued, "Be grateful. I feel rather kindhearted today so I can probably spare you my precious time and be your partner for this final round instead."

A moment of silence.

Chuuya froze.

Dazai gives him his usual lopsided smile.

It takes a second for Chuuya to finally speak and he curses himself silently when he stutters, "P-partner? Y-you? Here!? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Dazai looks painfully unwilling as he dramatically sighs in exasperation, "Oh how I wish I'm kidding you, but this is the worst since I feel like I have no choice. I'm very soft-hearted and whenever I see microorganisms less fortunate than I, my tender heart starts to bleed—"

"You fucking—"

"—Shh, you poor unfortunate soul with no partner. I'm doing the bare minimum here because I'm just naturally kind." Dazai smiles and looks at Chuuya with teasing gazes of pretentious sympathy.

Ok, fuck Dazai as a whole. No cap. Period.

And fuck my heart for falling for this piece of bandage.

Chuuya takes a deep breath to act maturely because this bandaged man in front of him is far from acting mature. He put his hand on his pocket like a usual badass and gave Dazai a small glare, "So you're partnering up with me?"

Dazai nods with a fake sad expression, "It might sound very gross and disturbing, but yes."

"Ah." Chuuya muttered and pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, "Fuck."

"Language." Dazai smirks as he stares at him, "It's fucking bad to curse especially to handsome and kindhearted people like me."

"You just curse yourself, you bastard!" Chuuya replied and got a single stick of pocky before walking back to where Dazai was standing.

They look into each other's eyes and when Chuuya's about to start, Dazai cuts him off, "Do you want me to lean down or will you tiptoe to touch my lips?"

"Touch your what!?"

"Chibi, you really need to clean your ears. I'm so tall and you're too small. I might get a back pain leaning on to your level. Oh, if you want, I can sit on a chair while you sit on me." Dazai smirks teasingly and Chuuya feels his heart rioting inside his chest.

"Oi, quit that! Yer making me feel sick!" Chuuya's not lying at all since he can feel as if Dazai's words can give him an unfortunate heart attack.