Alina

Tears blind my vision. Awful images take over my thoughts. This feeling feels so familiar somehow. It hurts a lot. I feel like the world is closing in on me and I can't get out. I can't breathe. I can't hear anything.

Suddenly I'm in a dark room. It's cold. I'm lying in a puddle of red paint.

Next, I'm in a van.

I'm in the snow.

There's so much red paint.

"Alina! Allie, baby can you head me?!" The voice sounds so distant.

More images flash across my mind.

A little chair with ropes in the center of a room.

Bathtubs, full of red water.

"Allie you're safe, come back." It still sounds so far away.

Mean words echo in my head.

Ointments and bandages in a box. Big, rough hands applying them.

I'm in a man's lap, trembling hard and he's saying something I cannot quite hear; I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.

I see an unchanging sky. It has no clouds or sun or moon. It's smooth with shades of different grays. My surroundings match the sky, but they have splashes of red paint; are they the stars?

"No one loves you."

"Princess, I love you."

"Daddy?"

"Oh, baby. Breathe, please breathe. You're safe. You're not there anymore. No one will ever hurt you again."

"Daddy I can't," I say through sobs. 
"Yes, you can baby, please try." I try but I can't.

"Daddy it hurts." I cry.

"I know love, I know."

"Allie, can you hear me?"

"Sandy?"

"Yes princess, it's me. Can you blow?"

"Blow?"

"Like this." A cool little wind goes over my face. I try to do the same. "Good princess."

"I'm tired, really tired." I weakly say.

"It's ok princess. You can close your eyes."

I embrace the darkness.

Later...

I awake to faint voices.

"That was the worse one yet."

"She was so close."

"Will she be afraid of us again?"

"Shhhh! I think she's waking up."

I hear the sounds of many feet coming in my direction. I open my eyes and see the faces of my family.

"Princess, c-"

"Mommy! Daddy!" I leap from my spot and jump on them. They hug me tight. "It was so scary! I saw things! Bad things! It was cold and dark and full of the red stuff. I-I, I saw people." The room goes silent.

"What did they look like?" Grandpa asks.

"There was a woman. She had gingerbread color hair and brown eyes. She looked afraid. She was also pretty young. I saw the 2 men again; one was cleaning this red stuff off of me and wrapping white cloth around my body. Then I was in the other's lap. He was calming me down like you do when I'm sad. It felt weird. I still didn't see their faces though, I'm sorry."

All the grown-ups look at each other.

"Darling you have nothing to be sorry about," Nonna says.

"You are a very strong girl," Aunty adds.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Daddy asks.

"I was meeting my cousins. I really like them by the way. They made me feel a lot better after what happened earlier. But Manny yelled a name, and then it felt like I wasn't really here anymore. Does that make sense Daddy?"

"I want you to know that Roman feels really sorry. All your brothers and cousins are really worried about you. Do you want to see them?" Uncle says. I nod my head and suddenly I'm sitting on his shoulders.

"Mommy! Look how high I am!" I say with a big laugh.

"Francesco Lombardi if you drop my granddaughter, I'm cutting you out of my will," Grandpa says.

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

We walk out of Mommy and Daddy's bedroom and go towards Alessandro's office. Uncle knocks on the door,

"Come in." A voice says. He sounds nervous.

We enter the room and I see my brothers and cousins sitting on the couches and chairs, staring down at the floor.

"Hi, guys." I softly say. Their heads snap up and 10 pairs of eyes focus in on me. They all get up and rush towards us.

With no trouble at all, Lulu lifts me off my uncle's shoulders and pulls me into his warm embrace. I hear my uncle leave and the door close.

"Princess we were so worried." He says.

"I'm ok Lulu. Look!" I say with a big smile. Everyone loves my smile.

"Princess I'm so sorry I yelled," Manny says.

"Don't be sorry Manny. And don't worry, you can be my favorite too! Just get me a really big teddy bear like Sandy did!" All the boys' heads perk up at that.

"Oh, so that's why I'm your favorite brother?" Sandy says, taking me from Lulu's arms.

"Yup." I say popping the p. "It's my favorite thing. I love it just like I love you, Sandy!" I say and lean into his chest. The room goes silent. Sandy hugs me tighter.

"You just said you loved me, Princess."

"Yeah! I do! I love all of you guys!"

The door swings open and the adults come through.

"What did she say!?" Mommy says.

"I said that I love my boys." They all 'aw' at that.

Inside Bianca's head:

My daughter said she loved my son before me!? No! And I didn't even get it on video!

Reality:

"That's adorable sweetheart. Do you love me?"

"Of course I do! You're the best mommy ever! Have I never said that?" I ask.

"No darling. But it makes me so happy to hear that you love us." Mommy says. I make grabby hands at mommy and she takes me from Sandy.

I hook my arms around her neck and give her a big hug.
"I love you, Mommy!"
Then I do the same to daddy.
"I love you, Daddy!"

Daddy takes me around to Nonna, Grandpa, Aunty, and Uncle and I say I love them with a kiss on their cheek. Whenever I say that they smile really big and say they love me back.

"Antonio, bring her here," Grandpa says. Daddy takes me over to grandpa and hands me over.

I've noticed that Grandpa doesn't seem to smile as much as the others do. But he has the biggest smile on his face when he takes me into his arms.

"You're my favorite grandchild." He whispers in my ear. I giggle and lean into his ear.

"And you're my favorite grandpa."

"Grandfather," Gio says. Silly that's not his name. "I got the call. That bastardo is ready to talk."
*bastard