Happily Ever Christmas

~Thirty-Eight~

Peter approached me, studying my face with a nervous expression on his. I wonder what he saw when he looked at me.

He was holding a mug of something hot in one hand and he was wearing that goddamn green and white checked sweater that I'd always hated so much.

I only even realized in that moment how much I hated it, in fact.

It was just so ugly and preppy and him...

And I hated him. I hated everything about him now except his amazing children, of course. He had managed to give them his calm demeanor which balanced out my impulsive personality and he had given them his quiet intelligence which counteracted my overactive imagination, I could only suppose.

But other than those things...I hated him. I hated him because he was the one who had hurt my children the most so far out of anyone, he was the one to teach them what betrayal and heartbreak felt like, and I would never be able to forgive him for that.

"I know you're not exactly happy to see me." Peter began hesitantly. "It's perfectly understandable, of course, I already told you to take as much time for yourself as you needed to..."

I blinked once then folded my arms and continued to glare at him because I didn't even understand what he was saying to me right then.

'Take as much time as I needed?' From what? We were divorced now, for Christ's sake!

"But that guy you're seeing!" Peter boldly continued. "What're you thinking, Em? This can't be good for the children, having some new, strange...hulking man around? Since when have you even started dating this guy? Do you even know anything about him?"

I stared at him, too stunned by his overwhelming, idiotic, mind-shattering imprudence that I couldn't even speak for a few seconds.

Where to even begin?

But then, before I could launch into what would no doubt just turn into a screaming match between us, I remembered how I had come upon my own parents arguing in here, only yesterday after noon, if you counted it in Earth time.

It was Christmas Day and I was not going to be my parents, even if I had gotten a divorce.

I would not put my kids through what my parents had put me through, were still putting me through.

So instead of addressing any of the ludicrous things that Peter had just said, I took a deep breath and I simply asked him, "Peter, what're you doing here? I thought we agreed you wouldn't come. The kids are having trouble adjusting as it is."

"Which is exactly why I had to come!" Peter took an earnest step towards me and I saw the pain lance across his face, which had once seemed so refined and handsome to me, but now just appeared weak of jaw. Seeing that pain in his eyes didn't bring pain to me.

"I really have had an epiphany lately, Em. I realized now how foolish and selfish I've been, how much I really love you, and the kids. How this is really my place, here, with you, as a family."

I blinked rapidly and took a hasty, retreating step from him. "What-what're you saying, Peter?"

"I have to be honest, we had a rough patch, Em, it happens to couples. We hadn't had sex in a really long time, remember? Not like how it used to be, not since Bradley was born, and I'm just a simple man, you know that. I snapped. I let Tammy seduce me, but honestly we've already gone our separate ways. And I see now how what you and I have is what's real, what's important to me. Please, Em, just let me make this right."

*~*~*~*

I felt like I might be sick, I really did.

He couldn't be serious, could he?

Maybe a year ago this had been what I'd wanted to hear, but a lot had changed in that time. I had changed a lot in that time.

I felt like I saw things more clearly than I ever had before, but only just as of now, really. It had been a wisdom that had bloomed in the night and taken until right in this very moment to fully ripen into a clarity of sight that blossomed in front of my eyes.

"Peter, I'm sorry that it's taken you this long to realize these things, because you are the only one to blame for the fact that you have lost your family.

"Now let me make myself perfectly clear." I said, lifting a finger and taking an authoritative step closer to him as he opened his mouth to protest. "You are not welcome here and I will never, ever take you back. The kids don't even want you here, you saw how subdued they were when you arrived. This isn't appropriate, so you will say your goodbyes and gracefully leave now."

"Emberly, please, I'm begging you!" He said as his desperation reached an all-time high.

My hand was already on the doorknob, however, when I glanced back. "Goodbye, Peter. Go find yourself another Tammy, okay? The kids will call you when they're ready to see you."

"Emberly!"

"Merry Christmas!" I said crisply, and I shut the door behind me as I left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Merry Christmas, and all the other things, too!

HRH