alone

chapter 3- why?

December 12th

Currently me and Boris have been 'dating.' for a month and a half we decided to do the 'break up' when the relationship seemed more legit. Yesterday we were laying next to each other on the couch watching a movie when Jane came down stairs and she was complaining about Mike. She sat next to us and just went off, it was quite entertaining.

Me and Boris only nodded not really putting out opinion into their drama. They had ended up getting back together by the end of the day. I didn't really care to be honest. I could feel myself falling for Boris and I just wanted to keep the moment alive. It was like every time that we hung out I got more attached it was quite embarrassing. Christmas was coming up and me and the rest of the part decided we were gonna go to the wheelers because they had the biggest house.

It was really weird how Mike acted around me now I was starting to regret the whole dating Boris thing. But also feel better about it. My feelings were so torn. I was starting to feel as if someone had possessed me and we were in the same body. I decided to just ignore my feeling and make it so that Boris was happy. But I think that maybe I should start to talk to Mike.

That was around a week ago and I was finally gonna confront Mike about his recent actions. I was at the wheelers house. Boris was out doing a project on plants for biology. Miles was out at the pet store with his half sister buying a new spider. Nancy was with Johnathon Tyler and Phoebe were out with a few of their friend so that just left me and mike because his parents were working. I waited in front of his bedroom door and i was waiting for a rush of adrenaline or some thing to motivate me to knock on that god forsake wooden door, but i was left with a odd amount of air stuck in my throat.

my palms started to sweat and a I could feel my mind race, full of many different thoughts. i couldn't breathe and within seconds I could feel my stance falter and i took a step away from his door. my eyes darted back and forth from the door and the knob. i was starting to overthink things more than i usually do. like it even matters, mike is matured now and has nearly if not any time for me now.  

as i take another step away from the Door he opens his door, he's in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top and he has a spoon full of something in his mouth and a comic in his hand. he stopped dead in his tracks looking at me in pure shock. I was frozen in fear and he let out a groan. he walks past me with annoyed look on his face and it was as if my whole world shattered as his shoulder crashed into mine as he passed by. I was at a loss of words and he soon spoke heading to the kitchen.

"what do you want, you know that Boris is out right now." mike said annoyed. I was starting to feel like this was the worst thing I could have decided to do I my situation but as my mouth opened to epilogize I decided to stick to my ground and confront him on my worries.

"i know, I came here to talk to you." I said waiting for him to say something and which he did.

"wow... me. wow I was thinking that you had forgotten me. if I'm gonna be honest you going and dating Boris was kind of a shitty move, I mean you like were rubbing it in my face. jane and me had just recently broken up and you..." he started and I was so mad at that moment.

"oh. I am the shitty person here? huh cuz the last time I remember it was you that acts like I ain't even a person its like ever single time we make up and I start to feel as if you actually care for me you go around and ignore me just to suck up to my mom and hang out with jane and its honestly toxic. and I hate you so fucking much okay, you act as if I'm the problem, but its YOU. YOUR the problem in this relationship, its always you this and you that. what about me, what about me and my feelings. do those not matter to you cuz its clear that they aren't and then you go and act as if i am the problem. no that just isn't fair now is it, your. Just so...so... rude!" i said and by now tears had welled up in my eyes. I was so mad and I was unable to breathe.

he just looked at me in shock. he didn't have anything to say. I wasn't in the mood to hear his excuse anyways. I decided to leave, i started to walk over to the door. all of a sudden i was pulled backwards. mike looked mad, but also kind of sad. it looked like he was ready to start yelling at me but instead he just hugged me. i was shocked.

he held me and after awhile I hugged him back and that's when he started to cry and I felt bad now. was I to harsh, did I step out of line? I was about to ask but I couldn't brig myself to say anything as he just cried into my shoulder and now I was feeling like shit. not a word escaped my mouth as he cried.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry will. i know that I've been a really shitty friend and i have no excuse as to why I've been so shitty to you, you really don't deserve it and I'm so fucking sorry, i know that i leave you and talk to el, I'm sorry i don't know why. i think its because when I'm with you i feel so weird inside and it feels wrong and then i think. i shouldn't be feeling like this. i have a girlfriend so i just leave in a desperate attempt to convince myself that I'm not.. that I'm not like you or Boris. i know its wrong and I'm a shitty person but i just cant except the fact that i like you." he said sobbing into my shoulder and i was so shocked.

my mouth opened like words were going to fall out but they never did. but i didn't get a chance to even think of a rely when i heard someone talk behind us and i saw Boris, miles, phoebe, flora, Nancy, Johnathon, Karan and Trever. i was unable to speak and Boris was looking at me expecting a answer and it felt wrong for me to not say anything so i just said.

"sorry." i let go of mike and i looked at m=him with sympathetic eyes. i walked to the door slipping on my shoes, i left a kiss on Boris's cheek and opened the door running home. i could hear many people yelling after me but i didn't stop running i just kept going till i was in the firest next to my house and i let a breath of relief out then i saw argyles van parked at the front and i walked in through the back. i could see argyle he was looking through out my house. i decided to tell him that Johnathon wasn't there.

"argyle.. Johnathon's at Nancy's." i said. he looked at me with a sad expression i could hear him mumble 'of  course he is' under his breathe and i could tell what that tone mean t so i decided to ask. he was walking away so i grabbed his arm and i asked.

"hey, argyle are you in love with my brother." he looked at me in complete shock and i felt like i stepped out of line till he gave me a sad smile.

"why are you byers so smart man." he said then he walked away. i was kind of shocked but decided that i shouldn't intervein because it wasn't my business. i looked through the house and no one was there. i looked at the fridge and there were two notes.

'at the hospital- jane.' and 'with hopper at dinner call if you need anything. xxx-xxx-xxxx- -joyce.' i sighed and i grabbed a coat and walked out of my house and into my backyard. i decide to go to my tree. a very special place that i went whenever i was stressed and i got a weird feeling that someone was following me. but i shook it off and just kept walking. once i got there i heard a twig snap. it want me. i looked all around and... nothing. i sat on the log right next to the tree and i closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

"aww, byers is stressed out."

sorry i haven't posted in a bit but Christmas and all that. sorry lol if this chap is kind of rushed i kind of wanted to shift the chap in a different direction halfway through but decided against it.