Losing is Winning

Chapter 2

Tobio and his mother hadn't talked things out on that evening, and they didn't talk things out on any of the following evenings either. But that was okay. Tobio was used to the meaningless commitments of his mother, and if he was being honest, he felt relieved that they never spoke about the topic again. That way, it was easier for him to piece together the fragments of his shattered heart and to convince himself that her words were just as meaningless as her promises.

Even so, however, Tobio needed a new high school to apply to. After meticulous research, Tobio settled for the Karasuno High School. It was a good school, even if their volleyball team hadn't had any meaningful victories in a while. A team that was titled The Flightless Crows was not what Tobio had been hoping for, but it was still the best option he could find apart from Seijoh, and... well, that wasn't an option. Even though Karasuno's days of glory seemed to be over, rumor had it that the coach who had led their team to Nationals before would be coming back this school year. Bad teammates were the lesser evil compared to a bad coach—at least this way, he might learn a few important and helpful techniques. And having a bad team but a good coach was certainly the lesser evil if the only other possibility was Aoba Johsai and his old teammates.

All throughout making his choice, he heard his mother's words in the back of his consciousness. But he pushed them aside, each time they got too loud and threatened to make the doubts that were sown in his head sprout. He wouldn't stop playing volleyball, wouldn't stop working towards his goal of standing on the Olympic court one day. He was still going to end up on this ultimate summit.

Despite disagreeing with his mother's idea of stopping to play, Tobio found himself sleeping more and more restlessly the closer his first day of high school approached.

They will abandon you. Just like the others did.

You aren't cut out for playing on a team. You can't cooperate, you can't work together with others.

Volleyball is a team sport. The way you play, you will never make it as an athlete.

On edge, Tobio tossed his head to the side, pressing his nose into the cool pillow. "I will make it," he whispered to himself. "I will make it."

Exhausted by his thoughts, he stared at the wall opposite his bed, watching the shadows of the leaves in the moonlight move over the closed doors of his closet. For a second, his eyes shifted to the little digital clock on his desk, confirming that it already was way past his usual bedtime.

He closed them shut with a sigh, turning around so that he was facing the plain wall. I will sleep tonight. I won't have nightmares. I won't. There was no reason why he shouldn't be able to sleep. They won't reject me when I'm the most skilled player they can have, they couldn't do that. So no need to worry.

Of course, talking himself into reassurement was just as ineffective this time as it had been all the nights before. Instead of starting his new school life well rested, Tobio felt dead when he fought with his duvet the next morning. The better part of the night, he had spent bathed in cold sweat, the thundering echo of the ball colliding with the floor always in the back of his mind, keeping him from sleeping more successfully than if a gong had sounded right outside his window.

But as if looking like a walking zombie wasn't enough already to make his first day of high school a disaster, it apparently needed to end with the one person he couldn't stand for the life of him gaping at him from the gymnasium doors. The person who had wasted the tons of potential he had in favor of whatever it was he had been doing instead. No, Tobio really couldn't stand Hinata and his happy-go-lucky attitude that didn't care about any endeavors.

The upperclassmen, however, didn't seem to care about that much, and with the setting sun shining right into his eyes, he left his new school grounds a few hours later with a new—involuntary—partnership.