Losing is Winning

Chapter 20

The days that followed were carried by a lightness Tobio had never experienced before. From when he woke up to going to sleep, his lips were only a millisecond away from stretching into a smile. And not even Tsukishima's comments sounded as annoying as usual.

It was an odd state he found himself in, and he wasn't sure if he really liked feeling so uncontrollably cheery all the time. There was, however, one factor that made up for it. And that factor was Hinata. Hinata with his bright smiles, his warm hands, his cheeky comments and the wondrous ability to make Tobio feel more wanted than ever before.

Tobio hadn't noticed it in the past. He supposed he couldn't miss something he never knew he could feel that strongly. Now, though, he wouldn't want to change back to how it was. Not when he knew how similar his dynamic with Hinata would still be. He had worried too much about what parts of their old friendship would be lost. They still disagreed on things, they bickered all the time, Hinata called him out on things just as Tobio did with him. Hinata had been right; nothing had changed about those things. Only now, there were lingering touches Tobio never thought he could miss the warmth of until they vanished, shining smiles he hadn't thought could get brighter than they already had been and stolen kisses when no one was looking that he could have never imagined the thrill of.

The first blow to that excitement came a few days after their first kiss. It was Friday, the day before Tobio's birthday, and they were about to clean up when Coach Ukai called for their attention.

"Mr. Takeda and I decided to give you all a day of rest tomorrow. Each one of you has been doing a lot recently and we want to avoid having you all tired out in time for the Nationals." Tobio's brow furrowed; he didn't feel tired out at all.

And then, Mr. Takeda added, "That way, Kageyama-kun can enjoy his birthday, too." Tobio's stomach plummeted at the words and a scowl threatened to take over his face. What made them think that of all things? He was the last person to be happy about canceled practice—aside from Hinata.

It had only been a logical conclusion to ask Hinata to meet him the next day so they could practice on their own instead. In his mind, it already had been a given that that was what would happen, however, when they were standing on the stairs to the changing rooms and Tobio asked at what time they should meet, Hinata turned around with an apologetic expression. "I already have something planned, actually," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry."

And so it came that Tobio was standing alone at the kitchen table the next morning, in front of him an unlit candle with a printed-on '16' and a poorly wrapped new water bottle for a present.

Slowly, he pulled the chair out and sat down.

He didn't light the candle; he didn't see the point in doing so, especially not if he was sitting here alone. His mother knew he didn't see the appeal in lighting candles on a birthday, and yet, she put a candle out on the table every year before she left for work. He was used to this scene, this start into his birthday, and he had never minded it, not really.

Until now.

Maybe having a team—friends, a boyfriend—that went out of their way more than once for him, had raised his expectations, made him think he would have someone to spend the day with. Maybe he had been naive enough to believe his mother would at least celebrate the morning with him. After all, a sixteenth birthday was at least a little bit more special, wasn't it?

Or maybe it was a mix of both. A dry smile tugged on the right corner of his lips as he poked the bow that was knotted around the new water bottle. He figured there wouldn't be much to unpack.

The little part in him that refused to give up, that refused to accept that his mother would never put as much effort into him as other parents did with their children, that little part twisted painfully at the dreary birthday scene in front of him.