Station 429

the night of thanks

the night of thanks

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The months of November, December, and January were somewhat difficult for the kids at first. The holiday season is typically known for spending a copious amount of time with family, and, simply put, these kids couldn't go back to their families. Some of them had moved far away from their homes, while others were alienated from their own flesh and blood.

That's not to say they didn't have a family. They had one among each other, so most of them used this as their excuse for not heading back home around that time. For Thanksgiving, they all brought in food to share, and they put Colleen in charge of dessert this time around.

Colleen's feet crunched against the gravel on the ground as she made her way towards the train, carrying a clear plastic box that held the desserts. When she got inside, everyone was already there and setting up. There was a long, white table set up in the middle of the room, the circle of chairs surrounding it.

"Please tell me you got something good for dessert," was the first thing said to her by Foster.

"Um, I have cookies," Colleen said, looking down at the cold Tupperware between her gloved hands.

"What kind of cookies?" Foster asked.

"Super special cookies," she responded, which got a look from Foster.

"What does that mean?"

Colleen stepped around Foster and towards the table that had a festive plastic cover on top of it for easy clean up. "It means," she said over her shoulder, "that I made them from one of Hope's recipes, and that she never named any of her cookies."

Foster had come up to next to her when her back was turned, so when she turned back around after placing the cookies on the table, she was met with his chest. Slowly, she drew her eyes up to meet his, trying not to seem flustered by the close proximity.

"Well, let's try one then, shall we?" he said. He reached for the open container, but Colleen swatted his hand away. Foster snapped his hand back and rubbed it, pouting slightly.

"Not until after dinner."

Foster only rolled his eyes.

Colleen, again, noticed their closeness, and was grateful when Misty told everyone it was time to start the night, because that gave Colleen an excuse to take a step back and breathe.

She didn't know why she couldn't breath. She was only standing next to Foster.

Foster somehow ended up in front of her in the line for food, so he handed her a plate. They went around the table, taking food as they went, and it felt like the family dinners Colleen spent the last seventeen years going to before she moved to New York City.

They sat down in the train chairs and talked about random things that happened during their weeks or lives, as they usually did at the meetings, but that night seemed to be more spirited. Maybe it was the alcohol (because holidays are considered "special occasions"), or the fact that is was in itself a special occasion, but either way, they felt happier, more awake, and more alive.

Misty stood up, holding her second beer in her left hand, saying that they needed to say what they were grateful for, just like they did every year. She went first ,and said she was thankful for her friends that have become her family, and the station, and even her sister because, without her, she would have never found the station.

Kendall was thankful for her skateboards for taking her everywhere and her grandparents for taking good care of her when her parents couldn't.

Owen was thankful for video games (despite all the trouble they caused him) and for his one friend from school who didn't bully him and always kept in touch with him, even after all this time.

Nathan was grateful for school, since it was the one thing he was really good at, and for the amazing people at rehab who helped him get sober so he could continue his degree.

Dustin was grateful for football and his team (who stayed friends with him even though he got kicked off the team), and for his sister. Colleen's heart warmed up when she heard that.

Foster was grateful for the station, and for everything his dad ever taught him, and for quiet nights.

"What are you thankful for, Colleen?" Misty asked, laying her eyes on her.

Colleen swept her eyes across the room, taking in the scene around her. A smile played on her lips; she was so happy right then, knowing that she had a calm amidst the chaos. "All of you," she said. "I'm thankful for all of you. Because without you, I don't think I would have made it." She felt her cheeks warm up a bit, but she didn't care. "I'm grateful that you didn't take one look at me and get scared of what was underneath." She paused and looked down at her hands for a moment, squeezing them so tight that her knuckles turned white, then releasing them dozens of times. "And, you know, I'm thankful that food exists, too, so."

Everyone laughed, releasing the small tension that had accumulated. Kendall wrapped an arm around Colleen and smiled at her, and Colleen fell into her shoulder slightly, her own smile plastered on her face. Misty wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"Are you crying?" Owen asked Misty.

"Yes I'm crying!" she exclaimed. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." She got up and walked across the circle, swiftly wrapping Colleen in her arms. Colleen squeezed back with just as much force as Misty, and Colleen found it difficult to fight back her own tears. She was that happy.

"Can we have dessert now?" Dustin asked, getting another laugh from everyone.

"Thank God, someone asked," Foster said. He quickly got up and grabbed one of Colleen's cookies.

"Why couldn't you have?" Kendall asked.

"Because I think Colleen would have smacked me if I mentioned them one more time."

Colleen released Misty and shrugged. "Possibly," she said with a smile.

They all grabbed a couple of cookies, releasing sighs as they took their first bites, which was a good sign for Colleen's cooking abilities.

"These are so damn good," Owen said.

"Really, Owen," Misty deadpanned, "we were doing so good with the whole cursing thing."

Owen's eyebrows creased. "Since when do you care if we cuss?"

"Since I made a bet with myself that going a day without cussing could actually happen. And plus, it's a holiday."

"You really shouldn't put such high standards on us," Foster said through a mouthful of partially chewed cookie.

Misty only rolled her eyes.

"They really are good," Owen said again, and everyone agreed.

Colleen smiled and silently thanked Hope for teaching her how to cook. Then she thanked Hope for also being a good person, and Naomi for standing up for her when she needed it, hoping they could somehow hear her.

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dedicated to amanda (@philharmonics) for her writing that is so lovely.

song is gold (acoustic) by vinyl theater.

thanks for reading guys! let me know your thoughts and give me feedback:)

-abby xx