The promised neverland oneshots + more

haikyuu incorrext quotes- ships

oikawa, throwing their head into iwaizumi's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
iwaizumi, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

oikawa: I think we should kiss.
iwaizumi: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.

iwaizumi: I fell—
oikawa: From heaven?
iwaizumi: No, I literally fell—
oikawa: In love with me the moment you saw me?
iwaizumi: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
oikawa: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

daichi: Is something burning?
suga, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
daichi: suga, the toaster is literally on fire.

daichi: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...
suga: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

tendou: My hands are cold.
ushijima: Here, let me hold them.
tendou: My lips are cold too.
ushijima: *covers tendou's mouth with their hand*

ushijima: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
tendou: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
ushijima: But you're always acting stupid?
tendou: ...
tendou: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

noya: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
asahi: Aren't you forgetting something?
noya: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses asahi's forehead before running out.*
asahi: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

noya: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
asahi: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
noya: Yes.
asahi: I'd sleep.

kenma: I'm in love with you.
kuroo : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
kenma: I know.
kuroo : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

kenma: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
kuroo : The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
kenma: Stop.

kageyama: I love you.
hinata, not paying attention: What was that?
kageyama: I said I'm selling you to the zOo-

hinata: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
kageyama: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

akaashi: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
bokuto: Wow. They sound stupid.
akaashi: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.
bokuto: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"
akaashi: I guess you're right. Hey bokuto, I love you.
bokuto: See! Just say that!
akaashi: Holy fucking shit.
bokuto: If that flies over their head then, sorry akaashi, but they're too dumb for you.
akaashi: bokuto.

bokuto: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
akaashi: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
bokuto: Holy moly-

tsukishima: Can you cut me some slack, yamaguchi? I'm sort of in love.
yamaguchi: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
tsukishima: I'm in love with you.
yamaguchi: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

tsukishima: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

yamaguchi: We both look very handsome tonight.
tsukishima: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."
yamaguchi: I couldn't take that chance.

Tsukishima: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
yamaguchu: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
tsukishima: That one. I want that one.