That Summer

With Our Crosses to Bear...

April 2013

            "Okay, I know we haven't spoken in a bit, and I really hate to ask...but my fiancé's actually your biggest fan. She has no idea though...I mean, about us. Like she knows I worked for you briefly, but nothing else. Would it be weird? I really want to see you, I saw the band was coming to New York, and I was going to call anyway..."

Stevie immediately stopped her rambling, "Ok, you don't have to explain yourself there, Em," She chuckled, "Of course, I'd love to meet her...and see you. I'll have Karen email you the information for backstage." She felt those familiar butterflies return at the thought of seeing her again.

"Fiancé, huh?" She surprisingly didn't feel a pang in her heart; she felt genuinely happy for her.

            Emma realized she sort of dropped that fun fact on her without warning, "Yeah, it's kinda new...we got engaged back in March. Things happened fast, we met a little over a year ago."

            "Ah yes...the U-Haul Lesbians, as Tom once told me."

"Stevie!" Emma broke out in laughter, "But yes, I guess we are..."

"And she's the one?" Stevie asked.

            Emma smiled through the phone, "Yeah, she is. I think you'll like her. I mean, your opinion of course carries a lot of weight..."

            "Well that's a lot of pressure there, Em!  But if you're this knocked out by her, I can't imagine she's any less than perfect," Stevie twisted the old phone cord around her finger, "I'm happy for you, baby."

            Emma quietly breathed a sigh of relief before responding, "Thanks. How are you though? Any new guys in your life?" She quickly tried to change the subject.

            Stevie laughed, "Oh you know, the same old suspects. I've gotten my fix here and there...but nobody worth an explanation."

            "So you're fucking Lindsey this tour?"

            Now it was Stevie's turn to burst into laughter, "Guilty...and I guess this means you finally get to meet that asshole!"

            "I never thought I'd see the day..."

            Stevie smiled to herself, contemplating what to say next. She didn't want to make this weird; they seemed like they were finally in a good place.

            "I think you and him are the two people who have my heart forever, no matter where destiny takes us." She was kicking herself for saying that, knowing she probably just crossed a bright red line. She waited anxiously for Emma to say something back; it felt like hours.

            "Well you'll always be my first love. And hey, as far as first loves go, you're a pretty good one." Stevie hoped her sigh of relief wasn't detected from the other end of the line.

            "Stevie?" She was jolted back to reality.

            "Yes, sweetheart?" She croaked slightly, trying to hold back the sudden tears she felt welling up in her eyes.

            "In case I don't get a chance to say it when I see you...thank you. Even though we had some excruciating moments when it first ended, I wouldn't change a thing."

            Stevie smiled as she wiped the tears that had managed to fall down her cheeks, "Like I always say: Destiny rules, baby girl. But I'll always love you."

            "I'll always love you, too."

            They both felt their hearts flutter, but they both knew this was how it needed to be. Neither felt the longing for each other that they once felt; all that remained was a platonic sort of  love, a sense of gratitude for what they once gave each other – for what they learned. Seeing each other in a few days would be easier than either of them anticipated before this moment.

            They'd finally moved on.