I Was Hoping For A Quiet Life, But You Gave Me So Much More

Winter Crocuses

"You did what?!" Mason yelled, far too loudly in the corner of the Library. Liam really had to stop bringing them here to discuss important, and significant, life events. It was never really a quiet occasion.

Liam took a deep breath, "I said, Theo and I..." he waved his arms around in no particular gesture.

Mason beamed, "Oh. My. God." he looked genuinely surprised and enthusiastic, "Liam Dunbar! You had sex?"

Liam scrambled to cover his mouth with his hand, nearly falling over in his seat. There were a few strange and confused looks from people around them, but most people just rolled their eyes and went back to their work.

"Jesus christ," Liam said quietly, "Come on," he grabbed Mason by the arm and dragged him outside, where they should have started the conversation in the first place. The second they stepped outside and Mason threw his jacket around his shoulders, Liam suddenly regretted not bringing one. Usually when he was outside he was either running into the building, or Theo was with him. But right now it was just cold.

Liam rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath, "Yes?"

Mason blinked, "Why do you sound so unsure?" he paused for a second, then looked pissed, "I swear to god if he did something to you without your co-"

"No! God no. That-no." Liam clarified, sporadically.

Mason sighed, "Oh thank god. Cause I would totally do something but I don't know if I could take him alone. I'm sure everyone else would help me though."

Liam huffed, "Yeah you're probably right."

Mason smiled at him, but then his mind went back to Liam's earlier statement, "Wait, so what did you mean when you said 'yes' like it was a question. Did you two do it or not?"

Liam suddenly felt the rush of anxiety that had been with him since Sunday morning return. He'd spent the night with Theo, much to Isaac's dismay. Nothing else happened. They just made out for a while, Liam periodically fell asleep on Theo's chest. Liam had felt so at peace in that moment. So unbelievably calm, and relaxed.

However, after he woke up and went home had a bit of a crisis. He didn't regret it! Not at all. He felt perfectly safe every second that he was with Theo. Showing him the scars littered on his body was incredibly difficult, but afterward Theo didn't even seem to notice them. They were just another part of Liam to him, and as he had expressed countless times that night, and throughout their relationship, he loved everything about Liam. He did not regret it.

He did, however, have a difficult time figuring out what exactly 'it' was. Was it considered sex? They didn't actually... They did stuff... but was that sex or just... giving each other hand jobs? Did that count? Was he still technically a virgin? Or could he say he wasn't anymore? These were all concerns he expressed adamantly to Mason.

Mason looked a little surprised, and a little bit like he wanted to laugh, but he saw how genuinely confused Liam was, and he pushed that away, "Liam, hey, relax. You have to realize something. Virginity is a social construct." Liam looked at him like he was insane, "I'm serious, listen. Virginity is just something people use to shit on other people. Think about it, seriously. When you think about a guy sleeping with a lot of people, what do you think of him? He's a player right? But society doesn't shit on them for it. Then you do the same with a woman and what do people call her?" Liam grimaced, "See! I don't even have to say it and you already know! Virginity is stupid dude! But if you really want to know if you're classified as a virgin, well that's up to you."

Liam thought for a few moments, everything with Theo was amazing. He was nervous as hell, terrified even, but he felt safe with Theo. He wanted Theo to be his first, "I want it to count."