In the Wake of the War

Chapter-9

Arjun walked into the common area shared by him and his brothers.

"Ah there you are Arjun! What took you so long?" Bheem asked.

"I just spoke to Vrishaketu." Arjun said, still hardly daring to believe it.

All his brothers fell silent.

"And what did he say?" Asked Yudhishtir.

"He wanted to ask if his grandparents, that is, Charioteer Adhirat and his wife Radha may live in this palace now as he is concerned about them living alone in their old age. I assured him that you would say yes."

It should not have stung, Arjun thought, that they were not regarded as family by the boy. What had they ever done, that was family like?

Still, for a moment when Vrishaketu had said Grandparents, Arjun had had one second of hope that their mother might have been included, especially since Bari Mata Gandhari and Bare Pita Dhitarashtra seemed to be included in that list.

"Of course," Yudhishtir said, as expected. "They are now sort of our family as well, aren't they?"

"Well, I don't think they would think that." Nakul said. "I don't think any of them think that."

"Regardless." Yudhishtir said. "I hope to avoid any more tension with them, and it is a quite reasonable request."

"Apparently they know Bari Mata and Bare Pita and will therefore get along fine, according to Vrishaketu." Arjun remarked.

"He said a lot to you." Sahdev said, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well, he did seem to think he needed to convince me, to even raise the question with Jyesht." Arjun said sadly.

"They all really just think we're terrible monsters, don't they?" Nakul asked softly.

"I can't say I blame them." Bheem said heavily, placing a hand on Nakul's shoulders. "Especially in my case."

"It's not fair!" Arjun finally burst out. "What is the point of this victory? We suffered before the war, and now we're suffering after it."

"The war for the establishment of dharma was always going to be bloody." Yudhishtir said, sighing. "And this was a war for justice. For fairness. And how would it be fair if only one side suffered and lost their loved ones? We tore our aunt and uncle from their children and therefore Fate decided that we must be left bereft of children as well."

"But they had been the one to commit the crimes, Jyesht! We had been the victims to all their plots and schemes." Nakul said. "Justice does not mean punishing the victims!"

"But we are not the victims of this war. Not like them." Yudhishtir said. They all fell silent thinking of how most of the colour had been drained from the Kingdom. There was only white and dull shades left now.

Arjun had always loved white. He had always worn white. It was what his name signified. But recently, he had been feeling that he did not deserve to wear the colour anymore. After all, what right did he have? He was a victor of this war after all. And white was meant for the mourners. 

"This was never meant to be our triumph. It was meant to show what happens when wrath and envy and greed and pride takes over all common sense." Yudhishtir said. "It is a hollow victory. It is meant to remind us that the women we have widowed are our sisters in law. The men we have killed were our brothers. We have widowed our only sister as well. And the children we have left orphaned are our nieces and nephews." Yudhishtir paused. "Nephew." He amended.

Arjun put his head in his hands. Nephew. Singular. Nephew.

Nephew.

The word kept ringing in his head. 

It was both the truth and a lie. How could they ever claim Vrishaketu as their nephew when they had done nothing but brought him grief.  Uncles were supposed to be like fathers. But it seemed, all the uncles in their family only caused grief. Except Kaka Vidur.

Uncle Dhitarashtra had never given them the unconditional or impartial love that he should have. He never stepped in as their father. Madhav's uncle Kansa had practically been the Devil himself. And Uncle Shakuni. He was the root cause of all the strife in this family. Duryodhan, Dussashan and even Karna had attacked Abhimanyu. Karna had killed Ghatotkatch. And now. All of them.

Three of them had killed seven of their nephews and as good as killed the eighth. They--He had committed the sin of killing his brother. He had left his only remaining nephew fatherless and brotherless.

They had all killed so many of their Kaurava nephews as well.

What did that make them? What were they, if not monsters?

Arjun swallowed, his throat feeling very dry.

"Shall I inform Vrishaketu then?" He finally asked, breaking the silence their Jyesht's words had caused.

"No we'll call him here." Yudhishtir said. "I want to tell him myself."

Yudhishtir sent a servant to find and call him there.

In the meantime, there was only silence in the chamber as they waited.

These silences were a new thing. They had never existed before the War. No matter what strife, what grief, what pain they had been going through, they had always been there to talk and cheer each other up. They had never been alone even when they had been apart.

But now, even sitting in the same room as his beloved brothers, Arjun felt alone.

After what seemed like an age, footsteps were heard and Vrishaketu stepped into the chamber. The servant bowed and took his leave.

The young Prince did his best to disguise his expressions but he was nowhere near as good as his father. Not that he blamed the boy, Arjun still couldn't always hide his emotions and he was almost fifty three.

The boy looked guarded, cautious, as if he had just entered enemy territory.

It did some terrible things to Arjun heart.

"Thank you for coming here Vrishaketu." Yudhishtir said.

"Well I could hardly refuse the Emperor's summons, could I?"

"You could, if you really wanted to. Allowances are always made for family."

Arjun could immediately tell that Yudhishtir had made a mistake. Vrishaketu's eyes turned blank.

"Is that what we are?" He asked, voice completely emotionless.

There was a pause.

"Well, yes. And of course your Grandparents are allowed to stay in the Palace."

"Thank you Samrat. I am touched by your consideration. I shall take your leave now."

And then before any of them could get a word in edgewise other than say his name, he turned on his heels and swept out of the room.

Arjun wished he could stop him, apologise to him, for this, for everything, for ruining his life, for destroying his family, for killing his brothers, for killing his father--

What had apologies ever accomplished? After a War, they were just as empty as condolences.

But Arjun didn't know why, for some unfathomable reason, he felt a pull towards the boy.

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