In the Wake of the War

Chapter 42

Each step forward seemed to both take simultaneously too long and too short to cover.

Arjun couldn't look away from those golden eyes, perhaps because he was afraid to see the expression on the rest of his face .

But eyes were said to be the windows to the soul and somehow, somehow Arjun couldn't see any hate, any rage, any bitterness in them.

And when he reached close enough that he couldn't avoid taking in the rest of his face.... his lips bore a smile. One that had never been directed towards him before. On those lips, it should have seemed so like his own, but it didn't, because Arjun didn't think that he was capable of looking so sad, so broken while smiling.

"Arjun." 

That voice had said his name several times before but the tone had always been full of rage or derision. Now, it sounded ... different.

Though he had asked to meet him, had wanted desperately to speak to him, now face to face with Angaraj Karna, Arjun found himself tongue tied. He had no idea what to say.

Karna did not seem to share the same difficulty however.

"I'm so sorry." He said. "I am so, terribly, utterly sorry. And I must say, thank you."

Arjun blinked dumbly.

Before he could say anything, Angaraj continued, "Will you take a walk with me?"

It was such an absurd thing to hear from him, that it jolted Arjun out of his stupor.

He only barely stopped himself from looking back, forcing himself to speak. 

"But-- but don't you want to spend some more time with your wife and son later? An hour and a half at least must be left until Sunrise." He croaked out.

"Try closer to two hours." Karna sighed. "But as much as my heart desires, if I try to speak to them again, the parting will be all the more painful. I would not want to leave and they would not want to let me. As much as I loathe to say it, it is for the best that I don't see them again before I leave. And besides, I can watch them whenever I want."

Arjun just nodded, throat constricted and followed the spirit.

It felt surreal once again, not just to take a walk with a dead man, but this particular dead man.

He cleared his throat.

"So, I suppose, the thank you is for giving you the chance to see Vrishaketu and Angarani Vrushali for the last time?"

"Yes. Of course. I can't believe you would choose me out of anyone else. But it's also for--"

"Oh you can't believe it, can you?" Arjun felt all the barriers in his throat suddenly break.

Rounding on him, he asked, "What did I ever do to you? Why have you always hated me so much?"

Karna pressed his eyes tightly shut for a moment before opening them again to meet his own.

"That is one of the several reasons I must apologise to you."

"That does not answer my question!" Arjun exclaimed. "Yes, its true that I never particularly liked you either, but I never went out of my way to be unkind to you! Not like Bhrata Bheem or even Nakul and Sahadev on the rare occasion. I never hated you or bore much animosity towards you even, until--until that that accursed Dyut Sabha--" He spat, "And even then I never hated you as much as Bhrata Yudhishtir did."

He took in a shuddering breath as the thing that had caused him so much hurt since he had found out the truth came tumbling out.

"And yet, you, you hated me so much, that even when you found out the truth, that you were my eldest brother, you promised to spare the lives of all the rest of my--our brothers, but not me. You decided that you would kill me or you would make me kill you."