Slipping Through the Cracks of Our Hearts

honesty

It's finally morning and I wake up only to find that Owen is not here. Daisy hasn't been here because she's on vacation with her family and won't be back for a few days yet.

Unfortunately I have to go to class today so I get ready and head out. I don't even bother to cover up my bruised eye because I have no energy and I already know everyone is going to suspect something, being as Blake was just arrested last night and the word gets out fast. After each class I call Owen, as he has yet to be seen. But he won't pick up and it's worrying me.

The day went by slow and I felt so anxious the entire day having people stare at me and whisper so many things behind my back. I just want to crawl up in a ball and fucking die.

It's 4:15 and I finally receive a text message from Owen as I'm walking to my dorm. 

The text reads "Come to the lake behind the school." 

I then head over and see him sitting by the water.

"Where have you been, you had me worried today.", I tell him.

"How are you doing Islah?", Owen asks as he disregards my comment.

"I mean I've been better but- what is all this about?", I ask him.

"I couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't stop myself from thinking about this whole situation and what Blake said. About your secret and the fact that you're supposedly going to regret something and all this bullshit. Can you tell me what he means?", Owen asks me.

We look at each other and I sigh. 

"I don't want what I say to change anything between us. I've never told anyone this before."

"Trust me Islah, whatever you say won't change the way I feel about you, I just need you to be honest.", he responds to me.

"Okay. Blake has always been an abusive person. It probably didn't help that his dad was the same way. Blake had this crazy obsession with me and I thought it went away after we broke up but clearly that obsession never left. He claimed to be madly in love with me and he even wanted to have kids and marry me as soon as we could. One day when we were sixteen we had sex and I wasn't on birth control and I um, I...", my voice became shaky as I began tearing up. 

"You, you what? What Islah, it's okay."

"I found out I was pregnant a week later, only to discover the condom we used had a hole in it, meaning that Blake intentionally did this. I didn't want a child Owen, I wasn't ready so I um, sorry this is just so hard to talk about.", I say to him. "Hey, hey it's okay, take your time.", Owen says as he puts his arm around me.

"I self aborted the baby after I found out." I started crying uncontrollably as Owen embraced me in a strong and meaningful hug as he started tearing up himself. 

"I'm sorry, you don't have to like me now or even talk to me anymore, I know I'm not worth your time anyway.", I tell Owen.

"No, don't you fucking say that Islah", Owen says as he puts his hands on my shoulders to look me in the face. "This doesn't change a thing, if anything this just made our relationship stronger than ever. You are an incredible person and I fully admire your strength and bravery to push through these battles." He looks at me as I sit there with tears in my eyes. He hugs me again. "I love you, I really do and I need you to see yourself the way I see you because you are worth so much more than anything in my life. We've only known each other for a small amount of time but we have an undeniable connection between us and I want you to know that I want to be with you."

"Thank you for being here for me Owen you've helped me so much. I love you and I want to be with you too."

I look up at him and he kisses me gently as we sit and admire the beautiful view.

Things are looking up.