Spidy Oneshots!

Bloody Homework

"Hey man! Easy with that knife," I say to the guy who was just trying to break into some random apartment. 

BOOM

I feel a shot in my leg, clearly this isn't a one-man job.  

I sigh and turn around, I see another guy dressed in all black pointing a gun at me, "Can we chill with the gun? I'm already about to get stabbed."

SLASH

Turning around was a mistake because now, I just got stabbed in the lower back by the guy with the knife, "See? I told you!"

I quickly web the guy with the gun's hands (removing the gun of course), and web him to the floor so he can't escape. I turn back to the guy with the knife to see a horrified look on his face.

"I'm sorry Spider-Man, I meant to stab your arm," He can hardly get the words out.

"No big deal, man, I'll be fine!" I say before webbing the knife out of his hands, then web his hands together just like the other guy, then again, I web him to the floor next to his buddy so they can chit-chat.

I address the guy with the knife again, "What's your name sir?" 

"B-brody, Spider-Man sir."

"Please don't break into people's houses anymore, Brody!" Before swinging off into the night.

When I get into my room, I stumble over all the stuff on my floor and fall. I figure I can stitch whatever's left of my stab wound up tomorrow morning and just let my super-healing take care of it while I'm asleep. And just like that, I pass out on my floor, bleeding over the random things on my floor, but they're all cleanable right? 

"PETER! GET UP, GET CHANGED, GO EAT, AND GO TO SCHOOL!" I jerk awake from May's voice.

"dsjkgahrg fejgoiNG MAY!" I jump up, shove my homework, gym clothes, and textbooks into my backpack without a second glance at anything. That's when I feel the throbbing pain in my lower back and leg. SHIT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE BULLET! 

I run into the bathroom and shut the door. I immediately start looking for my first aid kit. I take off my pants to take a look at the bullet wound. It's mostly closed up, so I'm going to have to reopen it to get the bullet out, ugh, I'm gonna be late for school. I take a surgical knife and cut open the mostly healed bullet wound. It's painful, but nothing I'm not used to. I reach in with my fingers and grab a hold of the bullet, probably should have washed my hands first, meh, I'll clean the wound before I stitch it back up. 

I successfully get the bullet out and start cleaning the gaping hole in my leg. I stitch up the bullet hole and move on to my stab wound. Again, quickly cleaning the wound before stitching it up. 

I change, eat, and then I'm off to school. I make it to my first class just as the bell rings signaling school has started. 

"Alright class, get your homework from yesterday out, we are going over it together!" The overly cheery voice of Mrs. Squicker rings through the classroom.

I groan and reach down to get my paper out of my bag. I pull it out only to discover it's 53% covered in blood. Shit. Well, no one pays attention to me anyways.

"Peter! Will you come up and show us how you did the first problem?" This is why no one likes math class. 

"I, um left it at home." 

"Then what's that white paper that you're holding?" 

"Homework from another class," My acting isn't great but somehow people believe my lies so I'm hoping that is what's going to happen this time.

Instead, Mrs. Squicker walks over to me and rips the paper out of my hands. Upon seeing the blood-stained paper, everyone except MJ gasps. That's correct, Ned gasped too.

"Mr. Parker! H-how what, how, what, HOW IS YOUR PAPER SO BLOODY?!" I understand her shock but she's definitely overreacting, only one side is soaked in blood.

"I cut my finger while cooking dinner last night and, in a hurry, to find the first aid kit it dripped over my homework," It doesn't explain why half the paper is fully bathed with blood but it's the best lie I could come up with on the spot. 

"Peter, if your finger was bleeding that much you should have gone to the ER!"

"Pfft- you think I'm gonna pay hospital bills when I could do it myself? That shit's expensive."

"PETER YOU ARE NOT A TRAINED PROFFESSIONAL!" 

I just shrug and say, "So should I do the first problem or not?"