Gravity

Burnt Toast (Mr. Kidnapper Can't Cook)

Kakashi woke up to the smell of burnt toast.

He could also hear muttered curses and grumbles. Reluctantly Kakashi raised his head from his pillow. Mr. Kidnapper was cursing at his frying pan, shaking it like he was trying to murder it.

"Why won't you toast this bread properly?" Mr. Kidnapper scowled. "I swear it's not supposed to be this difficult."

Kakashi stared at him blankly. "I have a toaster."

Mr. Kidnapper blinked at him. "Huh?"

"The square metal thing sitting at the corner of my kitchen counter is a toaster," Kakashi pointed out.

"Oh. I tried to make pancakes with it, but the mix just made it spark electricity at me?"

"It's a good thing you don't need to eat, otherwise you'd starve to death." Kakashi rolled his eyes, slipping out of bed, grabbing his dressing gown on the way.

"I'm not that bad."

"You put pancake mix in my toaster and broke it." Kakashi shooed Mr. Kidnapper away. "I'm worried that any food you try to make me will be poisoned."

"I wouldn't put poison in it." Mr. Kidnapper sounded offended, and Kakashi swore he just lost braincells.

"Food poisoning."

Mr. Kidnapper sounded puzzled. "Yeah? I wouldn't put poison in your food."

Kakashi twitched. "You're hurting me. Just give me back my kitchen and sit down before you melt my brain."

"It wasn't my fault there was no instructions." Mr. Kidnapper sulked, sitting down at the table.

"There shouldn't need to be." Kakashi shook his head, and quickly got to work. "You want anything?"

"Your cooking is good, so please, I would love something from you."

Kakashi's Omega preened, basking in the praise, but Kakashi merely scowled.

"How do you know-" Kakashi startled, but cut himself off with a sigh. "No, I won't even ask. You're a creepy stalker and I should expect anything by now."

"It's probably for the best not to question me," Mr. Kidnapper said, almost cheerfully, while Kakashi worked on pancakes, cutting up a selection of fruit to munch on with them.

"Right, well it's something simple," Kakashi said, sitting down the plates. "But hope you enjoy."

"Thank you," Mr. Kidnapper said.

They ate in silence, polishing off the food easily, or at least it was for Kakashi. He was quite happy devouring fruit and dangos these days, much to his surprise. He didn't normally enjoy sweet things, but right now they were delicious.

Obviously the baby had a sweet tooth already then.

"What would you say if I offered to take you somewhere safe?" Mr. Kidnapper suddenly asked. "For both you and the baby."

"No. I don't want to leave Konoha."

Mr. Kidnapper tilted his head. "Really? You don't want to leave this hell? How many friends have you lost to your so-called home?"

"It's why I can't leave. So many people I loved died to protect Konoha and its people," Kakashi insisted. "I won't let their sacrifices be in vein."

Mr. Kidnapper scoffed. "Ah yes, the honourable 'sacrifices'. They like to talk about that a lot at schools. They sing praises of those who sacrificed their lives, they build pretty graves and tributes, but none of them ever say how horrifying it was for the person whose life was taken in the first place, especially for the people left behind."