Gravity

The Big Test

There was movement within his apartment. None of his hounds were acting up, so he didn't pay it much mind and groggily opened his eyes, instead of springing into action. Guy was holding a rucksack. A bulging rucksack that threatened to burst open at a moment's notice.

"Guy?" Kakashi grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I have bought every single pregnancy test kit there is," Guy stated proudly, and tipped out the bag filled with a mini avalanche of pregnancy tests that went spilling across the table and on to his floor. Pakkun yelped as he was buried then swept away, and the others scrambled for cover. "Now you have the finest selection in Konoha!"

"I don't think I need over a hundred test kits, Guy." Kakashi winced. Guruko was trying his best to dig out Pakkun. "Did you clear out Konoha for this?"

"I bought extra just in case." Guy beamed.

Kakashi sweat dropped. "Guy, go return these."

"No, you shall use one half, and I the other, and we shall see who gets our results the quickest!"

"You're an Alpha. You'll get a negative," Kakashi said dryly.

"Yes, but can I piss quicker than you?"

He was too tired for this conversation, but before he could lay back down Guy scooped him up and carried him to the bathroom. "Let's go, my eternal rival!"

"I haven't even had breakfast yet," Kakashi complained.

"I will make some then. If I can't do that during our contest then I shall-"

"You are not peeing on a stick and making me breakfast at the same time," Kakashi growled. "I will hurt you."

Guy laughed sheepishly. "Perhaps I shall not multitask at this contest then."

"That sounds like a brilliant idea. Now, lets get this over with so I can get my carpet back."

.::.

"I have cleared out all my tests, Kakashi!" Guy beamed. "How about you?"

Kakashi glowered and gestured at the floor filled with empty boxes and pregnancy sticks. "Guy, I haven't been able to use the bathroom by myself since you created this challenge. I think you know how this has turned out."

"You just needed to keep drinking more water," Guy insisted. "And you left all your sticks facing the floor."

Kakashi sighed. "Yes, Guy, because I'm in denial. I don't know what I'm going to do, I could be pregnant, me of all people. How am I suppose to care for a child? I can barely take care of three twelve year olds. I can't be a parent, but... But at the same time this could be a baby and I'm tired of hurting children-"

Kakashi scowled when tears burned at his eyes. "And for the love of the Sage, my emotions are everywhere! I don't even need to look at the test, do I? I'm going to fuck this up, Guy. It's me. I fuck everything up all the time-"

"That's not true, Kakashi." Guy shoved the tests out the way, kneeling before him. Kakashi didn't get a chance to retreat, Guy took his hands and squeezed them gently.

"Of course it is," Kakashi scoffed. "Mother, father, Obito, Rin, Minato Sensei and Kushina, along with the entire Uchiha Clan except Sasuke and Izumi. They are all dead-"

"And none of those are your fault," Guy said firmly.

"Sure, I was too young to protect my mother, she died when I was two on a mission. But I was stupid enough to leave my father alone. I let him fool me into thinking he was getting better and I walked away when he needed me most. You saw the outcome of that, you were the one who found us days later. Then Obito? If I had learned my lessons earlier I could have saved him, and he could have saved Rin from me. It was my hand that went through her chest, my Chidori-"