His Equal

Feelings

"Sakura! We haven't had a chance to catch up, do you want to go out for something to eat," I asked, smiling at my friend. She's been a bit off lately, she's been really spaced out. I just wanted to check in with her and to see if she's alright.

"Actually, yeah. Do you have time today actually? I think a distraction could prove to be good for me right now," She replied, giving me a very forced smile. I nodded my head, and she sighed in relief. "Good, I have to head back to my homeroom but after school we should go. See you later Asuka," She waved, heading back to her class, causing me to frown. Is she okay? What's bothering her?

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"Okay, so what's been bothering you lately? You seem completely out of it? Does it have something to do with you and Karma?" Sakura groaned, running her hands through her hair. Her brows were furrowed, and she seemed frustrated. "So much is happening and none of it is with Karma. Although, I wish it was with Karma cause it wouldn't get dragged out like this has been!"

I grabbed Sakura's hand, holding it, and watched her calm down. She then smiled, and took a breath. "Okay, so it all started after that school party that was thrown. The one where you were in a rush. Some guys were talking about the E class from middle school, and it led to how I got in there. Everyone thinks it's because I am some sort of girl who puts out, and even went as far as to put out for a teacher! No, I reported one of the A class jerks for sexually harassing me, and he turned it around on me, saying I was trying to force him to do something. Those rumors are going around again, and some of my friends refuse to talk to me because of it," Sakura trailed off, frowning.

I didn't know any of that. That's horrible, and completely disgusting. Who does something like that to someone so innocent? It made me angry for her. "Go on, you know I'm listening to you Sakura." She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. "That entire thing landed me in E class, and caused me trouble for the last two years I attended the Jr. High division! Then, it's also a bit rough cause my mom is dating this new guy, I want her to be happy don't get me wrong, but I just wish she wasn't taking things as fast as she has been. He hasn't moved in yet, but he spends like five days a week at our house! It's weird having some random guy at our house now, so I'm never home because of him. He seems nice but I just can't get used to him that fast! It makes me stressed out, especially when I'm trying to earn scholarships to college as well. I miss sleeping in my own bed," She whined, hitting her head on the table.

"I'm sorry Sakura, I had no idea. At least your love life isn't a complete mess, right?" Sakura sighed, lifting her head back up and arching a brow at me. She placed her chin in her palm, and had a knowing grin on her face. "What are you looking at Sakura?"

"You. I want to hear about you and Asano. He's different, and that happened when you came into his life. What's up with that, Asuka?" I narrowed my eyes at her, as I felt my face getting warm. Her grin grew and I sighed, hiding my face behind my hands. "Do I have to say it?" "Yes you do Asuka! Tell me!"

I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get out of this even if I wanted to. "I'll admit I caught feelings for him. It's not some cute love story like you and Akabane, but it's a little something. I don't know what or when, but it happened, okay?" Sakura giggled, causing me to stop hiding my face to see a genuine smile on her face. "That's really good for you. I think you should tell him. He may return those feelings, just saying!" I shook my head hearing that, not liking her tone.

"No, no, no. It won't happen, he wouldn't go for me anyway. He'd only go for girls top of the grade, popular, the whole shabang!" Sakura arched a brow at something I said. "The whole shabang? Is that a word?" I rolled my eyes, while she just smiled.

"He would go for you, he's not the same guy I knew in middle school. Which is because of you Asuka. You just have to accept the fact that he sees you, and that he wants you. If he wants something, he'll go for it. Fair and square too, he's all about playing by the rules. So, why not speed up the process and go for it?"

She had a fair point. He saw me and decided to get to know me. He went to the hospital I was at too. He's done a lot for me, and maybe it was a bit more than what a friend would be willing to do, now that I think about it. But I'm not sure if I should. He has to worry about being known as number one, to get what he wants. Being with me, would it be helpful to him? I'm not sure if it would.

"What would he gain from being with me Sakura? It's a genuine question, because I see relationships where you have to benefit each other, to be in a relationship to begin with." She shocked her head, then she flicked my forehead, causing me to wince a little bit.

"That's so easy, it's like adding one plus one together. He would get a girl that will manage him, to make sure he doesn't dive too deep into his ambitions. He would have someone that is just as ambitious as he is, someone that can see the world in a different way. Someone that can maybe help him see the world not for what it can do for him, but for the beauty it holds. He would have someone be on equal ground, you'd be his equal. You just have to be willing to say how you feel, and step out of your comfort zone. It may not be love, but it's still pretty scary just the same. Because you risk your heart still, both people do. I know you're not afraid of taking risks, that car hitting you is the prime example of that. So, what's really stopping you from telling him how you feel?"

"My body was at risk. That's different than my own heart Sakura. I've never done romance, dating, none of it! What are the rules of dating? What rules can be broken once you know them and it's okay? I know absolutely nothing about it, I've never truly seen it. My mother and father barely see each other, and we know who I see more of in a month. What do I even do?" Sakura grabbed my head, pulling me closer to her, giving me a hug.

"One step at a time. First step? Admitting that you're into Asano, and not saying it's just a little something. It's a crush, infatuation, call what you feel, for what it really it Asuka." Admit that my feelings aren't just a one time thing, by admitting out loud what they actually are? I looked down, and took a deep breath, calming myself. Maybe, I can do this.

"I have a crush on Gakashu Asano."