Our Time • JJK / MYG

Chapter 24

Jungkook's POV   (Depression trigger)

I walked for as long as my legs could take me. I walked aimlessly and blankly. All I had on my mind was her and how I lost her.

The best thing that ever happened to me.

In a matter of months, I changed from the man she once loved.

And in a matter of literally seconds, my future with her changed because I didn't interfere that night on her birthday.

I don't know what my future will be like now that my light is gone...

Will I even have a future? Because I don't want one anymore... not if she's not with me...

My light is gone...

You lost her because you are weak, weak, WEAK!

There's no one to blame but myself. I can't blame it on work or on Wonho. I can't blame it on the alcohol and I definitely can't blame it on her.

It's all my fault.

It's probably best that she's with Yoongi rather than with me. He's head strong, confident, and can make her happy.

Anger boiled within me when I saw him. I thought I was going to punch him and beat him to a pulp. But when I got closer and saw the look of worry and concern on his face, a look of a real friend who cared for me, I knew I couldn't blame him for my failure. None of this was his fault.

It's my fault.  It's my fault.  It's my fault.

And then I thought that if I hurt the one person who's making her the happiest right now, then I'd truly lose her forever.

So rather than hurting Yoongi, I helped him.

And now he knows how to make her happier thanks to me.

~~~

I somehow ended up at a bar. Drinking all alone for my 21st birthday. Wallowing in my misery and drowning all my sorrows.

Stupid, aren't I? Resorting to alcohol again... But what else can I do to numb the pain?

"Hey stranger, you're looking like you could use a distraction..." A flirty, unfamiliar voice spoke to me.

I wasn't overly wasted just yet, still had my wits on me but I was a little light headed. I could see that the woman had the same coloured hair as Siri except this woman was a little older, maybe in her late 20s and she had brown eyes and bright red lipstick on.

JK: "Izzit that obvious I needa straction?" I slurred my words.

Shit... maybe I am a bit more drunk than I thought...

"Ohh Baby. You definitely look like you need something to make you feel better. And I know just the thing. Come on."

She took my hand into hers and I carelessly followed after her like a lost puppy because that's what I felt like.

Lost.   Empty.  Dead inside.

JK: "Will whatever you have numb everything? Will it make me forget what I've done?"

"For a short time I'll help you forget all your problems. You'll be on cloud nine, Handsome. I'll send you to heaven."

JK: "Fuck that!   I deserve hell!"

"Wow, ok. You're really in a self-loathing kinda mood, huh?"

JK: "Yep" I said, popping the p. "I don't deserve to be happy. My happiness went away with her."