My famous dad

Happsion

What is it when happy but sad Happison it my OCD brain speaking to me

The sun rose over the mountain and I was fully snuggled on top of Buddy. Katie took him out brought him back for me in his cute Christmas Bandana

Jessica walked in

Good morning you ready to go Jessica said

We loaded in the car abs headed to my forever home

The house was a mansion and out comes Ryan begin his ridiculous self

This place is huge I'll need map to get around  I said

He walked me inside and it was even bigger my anxiety was through the roof something that I have issue when I don't know directions I have an issue

Buddy was shocked also but not how you think shocking

My room was huge and cozy

It like mall in here I said

There was gaming room and huge fridge

There ten bathrooms and thankfully my room had it own shower and bathroom

I pulled my clothes

You have nothing kiddo Ryan said

I had to take as little to nothing to orphanage but also I was only five I said

I through my mountain of stuffed animals on the bed

Mount Bear Ryan said

Throne of teddy bears I said

Queen of bears Ryan said

My bed was comfy my blanket was warm

It about lunch time are you hungry Ryan said

As to me not eating for day I am I said

Ryan looked at me concerned

It comes with my anxiety and depression I said

Is it like an eating disorder? Ryan asked me

No it disorder eating I said

Scientific words Ryan said

Well I had to do research I said

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch Ryan said

I'll take it I said

Ryan left the room and I scrolled on my phone

Ten minutes later
I was called for lunch

I sat at the counter

I haven't had home cooked in awhile I said

I'm horrible chef so good luck with that Ryan said

At least you not cooking meth in the basement I said

True Ryan said

Buddy jumped on me feed him a part of my sandwich

What the rule with Buddy so when my buddy come over they don't distract? Ryan asked me

When doesn't have his vest on he normal dog but the second the vest on you can't pet in when I'm around other people his name is Copper I said

Why so that a fake name? Ryan asked

It to prevent distraction of I was out public and some called Buddy I'm having an anxiety attack and not doing his job it might be dangerous of me I said

With the anxiety and depression what other things I should know Ryan said

I get very bad anxiety when I'm around stranger. Because my parents bring stranger over they would hurt me and I developed as kind of security that's why I can't go to school I said

Like if I was gonna have group of guys over how would you feel about that? Ryan asked me

I'll just hid in my room I petrified I said

It must be hard to go through this Ryan said

It sometimes just pure exhausting I said

I yawn stretched out

It only 4pm your tired already Ryan said

Anxiety makes me tired I said

True Ryan said

I went up to my room and I took shower. Buddy laid out side the door which gives me comfort no one will come in.

I got into my coziest pjs ever

It only 4pm Ryan said

I know but sometimes bedtime is early or I'll watch greys anatomy in bed until I fall asleep I said

I sat in bed and I pulled Netflix on my big screen tv

I pulled season 1 and hit play

Buddy laid on top of me so I could decompress

After awhile I fell asleep. Asleep I heard faint talking I went into flight or fight mode

There were talking and laughing

I caution walked down to see my dad had friends over

You about gave me a heart attack I said

I'm sorry I didn't want to wake you Ryan said

Puppy someone said

He service dog I said angrily

Sorry my bad someone said

What gotten you all upset? Ryan said

Good night I said flipping him off

I stormed to my room and got into bed

Hey I'm not gonna let you be disrespectful in front of my friends Ryan said

Do you think I care I've been locked in orphanage for my entire life now I get taste of the real world I said

Your grounded from tv Ryan taking the remote

My heart started beating really fast as tears steadily fell down my face

Good night Ryan said storming out of my room

Panic sets in as I wrapped my arms around my sled I couldn't catch my breath Buddy tried calming me down. I fumbled to the bathroom splashing water on me but I collapsed on the floor