A Forever Type Of Deal

The decision

Chapter 9
Heera's POV
When I woke up my head hurt so bad,my eyes were swollen and I could barely open them but hey that's what you get for crying yourself to sleep.I walked to the bathroom and just took a second to breath.Things were moving so fast and it felt like I was drowning in my own head and I needed out.I didn't ask for any of this.I didn't ask for my mum to die,I didn't ask to look so much like her that my own dad could barely sit in the same room as me.I am proud of looking like her though.It makes me feel so close to her ,that and the last necklace she got me before she took her last breath.All I want was for her to just be here and hold me.I want her to tell me what to do cause honestly speaking I'm lost.
I put on ALL I WANT BY EMMA BALE,cause I really need those words right now.
I had hoped that I would have decided by now what should be done .
I don't want to leave my mum,she's literally the only one I talk to when things get this overwhelming and imagining not having her sucks big time.
I know she'll always be with me but sometimes I need the physical reassurance,that I can just go and cry on her grave and I know she's there and I just cant leave.
With that being said ,I miss my dad.
The one who would read stories before I went to bed ,the one who would sit with me for hours as we tried to write our own stories just the two of us.
The dad I had before Mamma left us
It's all just wishes but maybe if I left we'd be able to mend our relationship.
Him and mum were my only best friends and when I lost mama I kinda lost both parents and it really feels like shit and I hate every second of it .
After stalling for as long as I could I decide to make myself decent before I had to go talk to my dad.
I know it's going to be hard doing this but I think we both need this
So when I make my way to the kitchen my mind is made up and I hope we'll be able to agree on this.
I don't want us to fight again.
I hate fighting with the only family I have so I'm really trying my best here.
I find him sitted in the back with a coffee and for the first time in a while it feels like the old times
When him and mom would just sit in the back with coffees and just watch the sun come up at the start of every new day and it was beautiful.
"Morning dad,' I greet him as I join him .
"Good morning sweetheart,how did you sleep?"
"I slept ok thanks."
I could tell things were tense between us and I really wanted us to be ok for the first time in 4 years.
"Uum listen sweetheart, I know it feels like I'm asking you to just forget everything and leave but to be honest things aren't like that.
After losing your mom things were so hard for me and don't get me wrong I'm not saying that they were easy on you because I know they were not and I'm sorry I left.I just couldn't stay here without her.
Since we met and bought this house immediately after college and it was all we ever knew. We had so many memories created within these walls and our greatest one was when you were born.Your mom was so excited and wanted to give you the very best she could afford and you were her whole world and mine too
We loved you and I still love you but I really cant stay here when she's not that's why I took up the job.I wanted a break. I'm not forgetting your mom,she's still the love of my life and she's wherever I am and I'm sorry made it sound like I was forgetting her."

"I understand dad,I really do and I'm sorry you feel that way,and I respect your decision but I'm sorry I cant move with you.I know I'm young but I've been taking care of myself for a while and I'm sure I'll be just fine. Plus I'll be eighteen in a few weeks and I'm sure things will be fine."

"Are you sure about that Heera?"

"Yes dad I'm sure,"I said with a small smile.

"We'll be talking often and I'll be sending you money every month is that okey.?"

"I'll be fine dad,don't worry about me ,just focus on your new job and I hope you'll be happy there."
He stood and just hugged me and I allowed my tears to break free .