wacky stories (jjba)

venizia part 1

warning: venizia, cock n balls

ghiaccio pov:

i awoke to the sound of birds, which is probably the worst thing to do in italy. i guess i had left my window open. we were staying in venizia for a while. but the most important thing i forgot:

the window had no screen. i looked up quickly, and there was a bird, sitting on the light, mocking me. i had a pistol right under my pillow, and as i reached for it, i got a wave of tiredness. i decided to let the bird live for now, it's not like birds as small as this one live for long.

"GHIACCIO."

i turned away from the sound, clenching my eyes shut. no way in hell was i getting up now, i was too tired. that's when i felt hands grab my ankles.

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???" i yelled, as i was being violently pulled out of my blanket and bed. my head hit the hard ground with a loud thump. when i looked up, it was formaggio with a smug grin. i tried to stand up, but i felt dizzy and fell backwards, and, guess what happens.... i hit my head.... again. i yelled many curses in a variety of languages, all of which i am VERY proud of. being multilingual has its perks. even despite my anger, i kept sitting on the floor instead of getting up to beat him senseless, which was a first.

Formaggio just kind of... stared at me. he didn't look sad or guilty, if anything he was staring off into space. or on shrooms. maybe both, it's hard not to stare off when on shrooms. how do i know? um-

formaggio looked to the left. his right, i think? when i looked over, it was risotto. also staring.

"what?"

"dude, your whole fucking cock is out. why the hell didn't you tell me you sleep naked?"

then i started staring off into space myself. trying to talk or move was impossible, like when you give a controller with no batteries to your younger sibling, but they are starting to realise they aren't actually playing.

"formaggio, no one even told you to do that. i just told you to help me wake him," risotto started. formaggio glared at him.

"WELL, i got him up, didn't i?" he said. i couldn't tell if he missed the point or if he was sarcastic. maybe i should get checked for autism...

"formaggio. go." risotto said, starting to push him out the door. "we will talk about this later."

formaggio's face morphed into something i only see when missions go incredibly wrong. fear. i dont have much fear myself, so im just purely guessing. put me in front of a lion, and i would pet it without thinking.

and then i took in what formaggio said. and i was naked. i wasn't entirely shocked, just confused because I put a shirt and boxers on. i have been known to move in my sleep, and it does get very hot, even during the night, in venezia, and i have very intense heat intolerance, so it's safe to assume i took them off during sleep. i looked down to the side of my bed, and there they were. i quickly changed, and checked the time.

"9:00 am? early enough, but those leeches that others call 'tourists' will be out there soon." I said to myself. my alarm was shut off, which i don't remember doing. i woke up from the birds, and i remember turning my alarm on for 7 am. all of this was just grinding my gears. the embarrassment i already got from today was enough, and i kicked my night stand, which didn't do much other than make my toes hurt. this did not help calm the rage inside me, and i wanted revenge on that cheese bastard.

i was sick of this fuckin day already.