After everything

Sad life

"Cora your life isn't sad" my best friends luna tells me while placing a hand on her hip

"Luna it is"

Shaking her head luna looks at me giving me a "are you serious sort of look"

"Cora your beautiful you just haven't met the right person yet" she says reassuring me but I know it isn't true

All my friends have met their soulmates the people who they are going to spend the rest of their life's with and who they are all going to have babies with but me? I'm lucky if a guy even looks at me

"Ok I've got to go pick Jane up from my mums house but your still coming around Sophia's house tomorrow right?" She asks me while collecting her belongings and placing her bag on her right shoulder

I nod my head in response to her

"Alright I love you" she says kissing my head
"I love you to"

I love my friends but sometimes I can't help but envy the life they all have I'm turning 30 in 6 months and I've never a relationship where he doesn't cheat on me

It sucks

All my friends are happily married which I do love because seeing them happy makes me happy but that soon goes away when I enter my apartment at night knowing I'm not going to have anyone there to great me and kiss me

But because of all my friends being married it means I have the cutest nieces and nephews ever !

And I love them all like I would my own kids and I can proudly say I am the favourite auntie

Round of applause please

Looking around my apartment I see that everything is it place and nothing needed to be cleaned

I usually clean when I'm bored or have nothing to do but their isn't a single finger print in my apartment because of how much I clean it

I've already had my food for night so now what can I do?

I miss the times me and my friends would all live together and stay up all night together I don't think I was ever bored once

But we are all grown up now

Picking myself up off the kitchens counter I walk towards my bathroom deciding to go have a hot bath with some of the new bath bombs I bought myself

Yes I may be nearly 30 but who cares bath bombs are amazing

Stripping myself form my clothes I look in mirror in disgust maybe the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because my boobs are basically no excitant, I have no muscle on my arms I'm basically skin and bones there and I'm 5,ft

So there isn't really anything to love

I got badly bullied in high school by boys for the way how I looked

So I learned how to accept myself and that I'm not ever going to be a pretty girl but that's ok

I guess

Starting to run cold water into my bath I shake away all of the bad thoughts from my head and run into my room to go and collect my bath bombs

Running back in my bathroom butt naked I make sure to turn the cold water off or else I'm basically going to be sitting in ice

Which might I add isn't nice

Slowing climbing into my bath I submerge myself into the water starting to relax

Everything in my life has been stressing me out lately work, the fact I'm trying 30

God I can't even think about it without tearing up a little bit

After about an hour in my Bath I decide it's time to get out before I end up becoming a mermaid which would be pretty cool I guess

Wrapping a towel around myself I walk over to my bathroom mirror and start to do my skincare because wrinkles ain't aloud and as soon as I see one I'm booking an appointment to go get Botox

After finishing my nightly ritual I go over to my walk I wardrobe and pick out some of my fav pjs

Even though I'm a single bitch I'm still a rich bitch

I never really grew up with a lot of money but after years of working hard I can proudly say my bank is always full

When I was a uni student I was broke and could barley afford food but my friends all helped me when we lived together and now I always try to buy them things as a way of repaying them

Buzzz buzzz

Hearing my phone ring I run into the kitchen where I left to see Sophia calling me so I straight away pickup

"Hey babe" she says to me in a chirpy voice which is unusual for a heavily pregnant lady

"Hey sexy how are you?" I ask her

"All good baby's good Rowan and roman are good we're all good" she says running out of breath which I laugh at

"So you coming over tomorrow?" She continues to speak and ask me

"Of course want me to bring anything?"

"No your all good, but I'm going to have to go this baby won't give me a break and now I have to pee again" she says sounding like she wants to cry this pregnancy has been tougher on her then her first with Roman

"It's okay I'll see you tomorrow love you"

"Love you babe" and she hangs up phone probably running for the toilet before she pisses herself

Laughing I start to make myself a hot chocolate they are the only things that can ever get me asleep at night

Finishing my drink I set it down in the sink and start to clean it

I think it's a pretty habit that I clean my dishes straight after I've used them

Also if I don't my ocd will drive me insane and I won't be able to sleep

After finishing my drink I make my way into my bed room and lay down in my bed

Turing on my side i see lots

Tall buildings

People running

Cars speeding

I forget sometimes people actually have a life and don't just sit around like me

Oh well we can't have everything I guess