The Spanish Spotlight (LSD, #4)

Extra: Rock And A Hard Place

Extra: Rock And A Hard Place

I wake up (late), thanks to an annoying beep from my spiPhone, indicating an urgent message.

I don't want to wake up. I don't want to think about yesterday. Everything turned into a disaster, thanks to my capacity of not following orders. I don't want to read any message either. It's definitely from #1, The Boss, and it's extremely short.

Like: «you're fired».

Duh.

Whatever...

Urgent messages make your spiPhone beeping louder and louder, until you pick it up and read what's so urgent. Mother Nature's call is also an urgent message, so I visit the bathroom first.

Being fired is not really a problem; I'm young, I'm fit, I speak seven languages, and I can always go home and work the rest of my life in my parents' shop, selling Blutwurst from Diekirch on the street market. Billions of people do honest work like that, and most of them are leading happy and fulfilling lives. I've had my adventures, more than enough to tell my grandchildren fascinating stories. Grandchildren... If that's my next project to work on, I have to start thinking about children, perhaps about a wife. Pfff. If it's true what they say, then marriage is a more complicated mission than saving the world. I better start with reading the message; the beeps are now loud enough to wake up the guests in the hotel next door.

The message doesn't come from #1, The Boss, but from #2, The Nerd. It doesn't say I'm fired either. It's an invitation (and an urgent one, I have to be there in 15 minutes) to meet a certain Mister P.H. Johnsson and his daughter, to escort them for the complete day on their trip to Gibraltar. They want to see the monkeys and they want me as their bodyguard. The Nerd has added a personal note too: «Keeping the monkey of other people's backs... Just the job you've always dreamed of.»

This is... a surprise. I never expected to see Chelsea again, but fate had other plans.

* * *

"This was an excellent plan, dear. I enjoy it. We can even see Africa from here."

Mister Johnsson is in a pleasant mood, and so is his daughter: "I knew you would like this, Dad. On your vacation, you should do nice things, things you can't do at home. After lunch, if you like, we can spend the afternoon at sea. Arse... I mean, Mister Arsenal, knows someone who takes people on his boat to places where you can see dolphins. I mean REAL dolphins, not those football players from Miami in their Hard Rock Stadium."

Mister Johnsson admires his daughter's initiative: "That's a wonderful idea, dear. I would very much like to see those dolphins. Do you also know a place where we can have lunch?"

Chelsea runs ahead to see the monkeys and shouts over her shoulder: "Ask Arse. He knows a lot."

Mister Johnsson smiles when he sees how his daughter and the monkeys make faces at each other. He says to me: "She enjoys this excursion, don't you think?"

"She does, Sir, and I hope you like it too. For your daughter and me, this is an excursion, a day out to enjoy ourselves, but for a man like you, Sir, there's never a moment you're not working. I look at this rock and I see monkeys, animals, playing and enjoying themselves, but you look at this same rock with the eyes of a world leader. Here, you see this rock, and over there, you see a hard place, the human world. You see a metaphor.

» You look at the monkeys with a superior smile: they are all trying so hard to reach their highest goal, the top of the rock of Gibraltar. They have seven tools, the Seven Holy Virtues that every animal gets from Mother Nature to follow the Law of the Jungle, the Survival of the Fittest: Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Pride, Sloth, Wrath and Envy. On top of the rock, there can only be one, the Best, the Leader, the Number One. All the others suffer and sacrifice themselves, so their leader gets the best chance to survive. Here, on the Rock of Gibraltar, rules the Law of the Jungle: all the monkeys fight, fuck, and feed themselves. The most selfish animal is the Best, the winner, the proudest, allowed to sit on the top of the Rock.