Brave Like You (Steve Harrington)

Thirty.

Our horror movie night on Halloween went well. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike had to bail out at the last minute, however, because Eddie had scheduled a special Halloween Hellfire Club meeting. Steve was not happy about it, and he begged me to talk to Eddie to get him to change the meeting. I did ask, and Eddie nearly laughed in my face saying he wasn't moving the meeting - which I knew is what would happen when I asked him.

Max was reluctant to come without Lucas there, but we talked her into it. Steve has a soft spot for Max, especially since Billy died over the Summer. He cares for all of the kids, but Max just holds a soft spot in his heart kind of like how Will does with me.

He was seriously so sweet, and I was so lucky to have him. I was an idiot last year to ever think that I couldn't handle being with Steve. These past few months have been the best months of my entire life. I wish everyone felt that way, but looking at Max's unphased, lifeless expression as we watched the most gruesome horror movie Family Video had in stock, I couldn't help but actually begin to worry about her like Steve has.

She was quiet, sometimes talkative, but now she hardly says two words. It just makes me sad to see her hurting. The worst of it all, is that she won't admit it. She just says she's fine and that's it. I hope she starts to feel better soon, but I have a feeling that it will get worse before it gets any better.

When Steve took her home that night, she was quiet, of course, and Robin kept trying to talk to her but she didn't seem interested so Robin gave up. And as sad as he was, Eddie seems to be getting better every day. I don't know if he's putting on an act or a brave face or something like that, but it seems like he's doing his best to put Billy behind him.

It seems like Max is doing the opposite. Unlike Eddie, Max always hid the fact that she sometimes liked having Billy as her older brother, and when he sacrificed himself to save her and her friends and his last words were "I'm sorry," it confirmed that he always felt the same way, too.

Steve's parents had gone away without him again for Thanksgiving. He said he didn't care, since his headaches are getting worse and worse he was looking forward to the quiet house. It was also a great cover for us to have a big slumber party and not be under any suspicion. Uncle Wayne thought I was at Robin's, Robin's parents thought she was with me at my place. Dustin was the only one who didn't have to lie to his mom.

Christmas time was very hard for Eddie, and I thought he had been doing okay, so it was kind of a surprise. I guess this is around the time he and Billy got together, and it is making him miss his dead boyfriend again. I understand that, if I lost Steve, the 4th of July would be the worst time of year for me. I would hate it.

I talked him into volunteering at the Snow Ball again for some extra credit. Unlike last year, Eddie and I worked the same table so I could keep an eye on him and keep him in check so he didn't go harass the DJ again like last time.

Steve's parents were actually home for Christmas, so we hung out the rest of the time I was off of school. Mike told us all that his parents had surprised him with a trip to California over spring break to visit the Byers family and Eleven. I was surprised that Nancy wasn't jumping at the opportunity to go visit her boyfriend, but Mike said she wasn't going with him.

January was how it always was, slow and it dragged on for what seemed like forever. Life was normal, and I was enjoying it thoroughly. Eddie was starting to concern me though. I know we haven't been the closest of siblings in our lifetime, but I've never seen him so depressed ever in my life. Especially when Valentine's Day came around.

He was seriously missing Billy, and I didn't know how I could help him. I couldn't bring his boyfriend back from the dead, which is what I knew he wanted. Everything I could try to do to help him wasn't ever going to be enough.