The Stars Above Us

Breathe

It was in the middle of the night and Bella shot up out of bed, her heart beating quick against her chest. Harry turned over, looking at her, realising she was going to have a panic attack. The words 'You Pathetic Little Bitch' running through her head as she grabbed the sheets. Harry sat up "Did it effect you?" She nodded "I am so sorry." Harry's voice cracked. Bella got up, walking out of bed as Harry grabbed her hand "Bells, I didn't know it would effect you this bad to the point you're ignoring me." "I'm not ignoring you, I'm upset." "I feel really bad for calling you that name. I know I shouldn't have done it or said it." Harry felt his eyes fill up with tears.

Bella sat on the bed, and held Harry's hands, wiping at her eyes, moving in front of Harry, and sat in between his legs "Harry, it's okay. You didn't mean it. You wanted to try and be submissive." "No, you know I'm a top." "I know but I wasn't expecting it, or worse you turning up that bloody vibrator. I didn't mind it, but it got annoying." Harry smiled, and opened the drawer, getting it out "In the morning?" "I'll think about it, I don't think I'll be able to sleep now, it is 3am, so I can't sleep now." "Okay, how about you lie back between my legs, put your head on my chest and just relax. If you think you've got a headache, let me know, okay?" She nodded, and laid down between Harry's legs and placed his head on his chest. Harry leaned down and kissed her lips softly. Bella smiled, looking up at Harry.

Bella put her head down after a few minutes, "Are you okay?" "I've got a bad headache, but it's definitely going to be a seizure." Harry crossed his legs, and laid Bella down, getting his phone open, getting his stopwatch ready as her eyes began twitching. Harry started it, putting her legs down, getting her phone, calling Lucius who answered after two times of calling "Hello?" "Lucius, I know it's late, Bella's currently in a seizure." "Okay." Her body started to convulse after minutes of Harry keeping her in his lap "Is her head on something comfortable?" "She's lying in my lap," "Good, Harry." Harry began stroking her hair and grabbed her hand "Bella, lovely, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Harry felt her squeeze his fingers "Good girl." Harry kissed the back of her hand as her body began to jerk more violently.

25 minutes later, Bella's eyes flickered to sides as she opened them fully, coming out of her seizure "Hi." "Hey beautiful." "How long was I out?" "27 minutes." "That's long, did anything happen?" "If you went over 30 minutes, I'd have to call your dad down to Brighton." "Okay." Bella laid back down, between Harry's legs "I'm tired now." Harry pulled her up and laid down with Bella lying on his chest.

When Harry wakes in the morning, Bella is still sleeping peacefully, her head is resting on Harry's chest. Bella's left hand is resting on Harry's stomach. Harry lifted her up as she made a little whine, opening her eyes slowly, looking at Harry, rubbing her eyes "What time is it?" "It's 12'o clock." "Okay, I'm going back to sleep, I'm exhausted." She rolled off of Harry, and laid down. Harry rubbed her side slowly as she made little dinosaur noises "I'm not going to get to sleep, not now." "Okay then, that's up to you." "Yeah," Bella laid herself down on her pillows after turning herself around, looking at Harry. Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Bella pulled back, looking at Harry, and snuggled up and into his chest. Harry smiled at how she was cuddled up to him.

Bella looked at him as tears filled her eyes "What's the point of it anymore?" "What?" "Being normal. Not having seizures almost every day, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything. I'm tired of everything." "Don't say that." "Why not?" "Because you're worth it. And no matter what you have. You deserve to be able to live your dream. You matter so much to me, and you never know how much I love you. For the three years we've been together. I have never felt like this." "Like what?" "So in love with a person, and that person may have shit going on, but that person is you." Bella looked down at the duvet, and pulled her knees up, and rested her head on her knees, and wrapped her arms around her ankles, sitting against her pillows.

Harry looked at her but before he could do anything, she had started crying. Harry put her knees down as she struggled to stop him but gave up and fell into Harry's side. Harry held her as she cried in his arms. Harry began stroking her hair "I was initially up at 10." "How come?" "Don't be mad with me. I thought I was trying to relief something." "Bella, what did you do?" Bella sat on the bed, "I know I'm going to sound like a 16 year old. I tried to make myself vomit. I didn't want you to see me in a mess. I'm tired of everything. I'm sick of crying. Tired of trying. Yes sometimes I'm smiling but on the inside, the smile is hidden by regret." "Okay, this doesn't sound good. You tried to make yourself be sick for one thing which I'm sorry. I'm going to sound harsh here, but the strongest people like me cry behind closed doors at work. I've always thought oh have I let Bella down? Am I a shit boyfriend? I fight battles of my own that you don't even know about. I've sat in my office and I've locked the door, and I've cried because I don't want to loose you." Bella got up on her knees and hugged Harry.

Harry hugged her back "Please don't hide things like this from me. I tell you my shit, but you need to start informing me about all of this. You're not a shit boyfriend. You're perfect for me, Harry. You haven't even let me down either, you're amazing. I will never get bored of you." "Baby, you don't get it, it's worse in meetings as I get this feeling of sickness and panic in my tummy, I don't want this." "Harry, next time this happens, walk out and go to the bathroom, splash your face with some water and call me please. Even if you're sobbing your eyes out or having a panic attack, fucking call me, Harry. I will pick you up from work, and I know I'm tiny but you can sit on my lap if you come home in a bad way, you can sit down on me and fall asleep." Bella explained to him. Harry curled his head into Bella's chest "Bella?" "Mmm?" "Have you ever heard of age regression?" "I have, it's that mindset where you go into a younger age. Are you a little?" "Possibly." "I want to see this, and yes you can call me mama." "Okay, and me?" "You're my little boy when you're in your little space." Harry cuddled up to her with a smile on her face and cuddled up to his girlfriend with a little smile on his face, knowing Bella would protect him at all costs.